Wednesday, April 22, 2009

TBWCYL Day 111 - Mean and Keen

Sorry this is a day late, I got busy but I did the task so that is the most important thing. Yesterday's task was this: "Treat'em Mean, Keep'em Keen". What does that mean? Treat your mate like crap and see what happens.

I am so good at this that it is scary. If ticking off your spouse were an Olympic event, I would get the Gold every time...or be disqualified for unsportsmanlike conduct. I started the day off well by making some crude gestures about my genitalia and going so far as to stand naked on the counter and flap my junk in Diana's face. I thought I would get a look of disgust but instead she laughed.

I said some rude things to her through the morning and we carpooled to work, where I constantly commented about her inability to drive, you know, because she is a woman. Still I got nothin'.

We had a happy hour for her work so I threw a few little jabs at her in the car. We say a lady in a MooMoo and I told Diana I already bought her one for Christmas because at the rate she was going, she would need it by December. I really tried to lay it on thick after we left the restaurant but she still wouldn't bite. She dozed off in the car and I slammed on the breaks to scare/wake her up.

Here is the lengths I went to. Diana was naked in our room, she was changing but that isn't as impressive so I thought about leaving it out. I actually commented about how many fat rolls she had and she proceeded, with a smile, to lay out on the bed in a sexy model pose and said "How about if I do this?" At that point I gave her a wedgie and I am pretty sure it hurt. She was still pleasant.

I almost pulled out the big guns by calling her an exes name but I couldn't bring myself to stoop that low. Why is it that if I try to piss her off, she laughs but if I don't try I am as successful as can be? SERENITY NOW!!!!

That is all,


8 Ripples in the pond:

Girl Interrupted said...

Sheesh! I just choked on my tea and nearly died because I was laughing so hard at that post!

What a vile man you are, Trinity!

Flapped your junk in her face?

I have SO much respect for Diana right now ... I hope she makes you pay for it later.

Diana said...

It might have helped that I had three margaritas with dinner. I wasn't drunk but...

Trinity said...

I think she didn't get mad because she had her own personal Chipendale.

Girl Interrupted said...

Diana ... just the three? Then I appluad you even more!

*laughs hysterically at the Chippendale comment*

You mean the chipmunks, right?

Trinity said...

No, they are famous male strippers.

Addy's Daddy said...

I think GI understands what you were saying, but obviously you didn't understand what she was saying...

Trinity said...

I don't know. GI Kate is very limited in her knowledge of American pop culture. I have had to explain what a corn dog is, as well as telling her about corn bread and cream gravy. I don't assume anything with her.

Girl Interrupted said...

Hey! I know what the Chippendales are!!! (Greased-up, muscle-bound gym monkeys)


I might be British but I'm not a complete cultural ignoramus!