Monday, February 28, 2011

Weight loss challenge

So, you know how I am fat?  Well, not for long bitches!  I went on a weight loss kick a while back before Grace was born and dropped about 20 lbs.  I have kept off about 15 of those but a while back my doctor told me I should really be in the 200 lb range.  Well, I always intended to get there but Grace takes up a lot of time, who knew? So, I slipped and stopped behaving myself and didn't visit that lovely gym I spend $30 a month to be a member of.

Well, it just so happens Erin moved back to town and is getting hitched and wants to lose some weight for her wedding, and maybe just in general.  So, I threw down a challenge. I am super competitive and bullheaded and decided if I was competing with someone, I would be more inclined to drop the pounds.  Last Monday we kicked off our Biggest Loser challenge to see who can be the thinnest.

We are weighing in every two weeks, calculating percentage lost, and the loser of that weigh in has to buy the winner something.  That part is kind of vague.  But it allows for the competition side of things to stay fresh, it allows us to be constantly in battle, and it allows for prizes.

So far, things have gone OK.  I visited the gym a few times and ate poorly instead of incredibly poorly.  I started counting calories again and made a few good decisions along the way.  However I also made some bad ones.

Here is my shame:
  • 10 beers and a huge burger while in Houston
  • Whataburger for breakfast on Wednesday and Thursday while in Houston
  • Mexican food for lunch and dinner on Friday, with 7 beers in the evening
  • An entire giant size box of Nerds on Saturday
So, will I win the upcoming weigh in? Who knows.  I am not sure what Erin has done but I hope for my sake she fails miserably, and I hope for her sake that she wins.

That is all,


Thursday, February 03, 2011

Hey People, there's an order to things

Yesterday, I was chatting with a fellow blogger, Lola Lakely, and we were discussing many things, but one thing that came up was how hard it is to take care of something. Lola just got a puppy and I just had a baby and she was saying how it is a new experience to have something that relies on you. She immediately threw in, "We got a puppy, and not that it's the same thing but trying to figure out what she wants is hard."

And she is right.

Being a parent is hard. It is hard when you are a fur parent and it is harder when you are a full time parent. So, as we were chatting, I wrote down some rules for her to get tattooed on her arm as a sort of checklist. This is really a set of hard to figure out steps that people might want to know.

Step 1. Meet a mate. This is gender neutral and if you end up with a set of points or a set of holes, it makes no difference.
Step 2. Live together. This may go against some of your religious beliefs. If so, move step 4 between steps 1 and 2 but do not move past Step 4. You aren't ready yet.
Step 3. Get a Pet. Ever cared for another living thing? No. Well try it with an animal. Cats don't count. If you kill it, maybe you should think long and hard before procreating.
Step 4. Marry. Yes, I am throwing convention into the wind and actually suggesting you get married before you have a kid. And I have a great reason why.
Step 5 If you can do all that then you can have a kid

So, if you have done all of these steps you are probably pretty happy. There are exceptions to that rule because some people just don't work out but for the most part, I would stake money on this system. I haven't figured out how to market it yet but I am getting there.

Here is the logic behind my 5 step method.

You need a mate before you can move past step one.
Living together will teach you patience. Dating someone is not the same as living with them and even though they may have a tooth brush at your house, there are two people you are dating. One is the person you have over, and one is the person who is at home.

Pets teach responsibility and selflessness. You can't just run away for the weekend when you have a pet. Someone has to take care of them so they either go with you, causing you to be responsible even on vacation, or you pay someone to take them in which case you just got your first taste of daycare.

Marring teaches commitment. Sure, marriage teaches you all sorts of things, but by saying, "I Do" you are committing to something in a way you have never done before. I bought an extended warranty on a TV once that was 3 years. I have bought cars that I still drive. I even signed a 30 year note on a house, but at the end of the day a marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment and if you can keep it in your pants, it will be.

So, that brings us to kids. If you have patience, responsibility, selflessness and commitment, you can handle being a parent. It isn't an easy job, and some days you might wonder how you made it through another day, but it is worth every minute of it. As for why you should get married before you have a kid, having two people to raise a child is for the benefit of the child, but also for the people raising it. It is backup when you most need it and it is relief to know that if it gets to hard, someone is always there to support you.

That is all,

Disclaimer: I understand their are single parents out there. Their job is twice as hard and I would bet that most would all agree with my rules. Choosing to be a single parent is like painting a house. One person can do it, but it is a lot easier if you have help.