Saturday, May 26, 2007

Ida-HO Potato

Well, I was sitting around the other day and I started thinking, "How big of a slut is Mrs. Potato Head?"


This may seem random but give it some thought. She dresses in gaudy costume jewelry all the time, she is constantly being seen with a random assortment of faces, and she wears way to much makeup. Have you seen the number of holes that woman has on her. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if a G.I. Joe has humped up on her ear hole while she was gallivanting about.


And you know she can get a big load in that ass of hers. It literally folds open. Also, Mr. Potato Head does not come with a penis, yet Mrs. Potato Head comes with some lips(wink, wink). You do the math. I don't blame her for her actions. Some times people are just made that way. Truthfully, I'd do her. She has an ethnic quality to her. That light brown skin and that big ole booty. How could anyone resist, be it animal, vegetable, or mineral?


That is all,


Newt

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Getting Stoned

Where has the time gotten too? I apologize for being so distant recently. Wednesday started the Trinity and Diana Summer Concert series. Dallas just got a House of Blues and Joss Stone was there on Wednesday. We have had tickets for a while and I have been really anticipating this concert. Why? Well, I am totally hot for Joss.

The concert was really good. The HOB is a great venue and really designed interestingly. It was standing room only so we showed up a little late and saw half of the opening act, a guy named Ryan Shaw. After seeing a couple of his songs, I was disappointed that we missed him. Joss went on around 9:40 and played for about an hour and a half.

Damn that girl has a voice on her. She sang most of her new stuff off of the latest album and didn't go too much off of her first two CDs. She had a lot of fun on stage and looked damn good doing it. I couldn't stop singing her songs for a couple of days. My one complaint was that she kept her bangs in her eyes and it made it unable to see her face. Other than that it was an awesome concert and I loved seeing it.

And to prove how British she is, she drank tea the entire time she was on stage. And she said Bugger. God, British girls are hot.

That is all,

Newt

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Can I park here?

I meant to post about an incident that happened to Diana and I a couple of weeks ago but forgot. My fiancee and I went to the glorious shopping facility that is Grapevine Mills Mall. It was a windy day and we were struggling to find a parking spot. Well, we lucked into a space near the end of a row, as did another woman who parked two spots away. As we were getting out of the car our neighbor was pulling her huge ass car out of the spot. I thought she had decided that she couldn't fit in the spot when I noticed she was holding up traffic.

I looked and she had her window down. She looked extremely confused and when she saw me she asked "Can I not park here?" I was confused by her question and I said "Yes." She said "Doesn't that mean that I can't park here?" Well, I looked down and saw that red line that says 'Fire Lane Do Not Park'. You know the one? It runs the entire line of parking spaces so Fire Trucks have a clear parking spot for the truck. I was so dumbfounded that I just said, "Yes, you can park there. You just can't park along the red line." The look of common sense hit her when she realized how stupid that question was.

I just love the logic that this involved. First, the lady was parking at the tail end of a long line of parking spots. Somehow this woman thought that this one spot, way at the back of the line was supposed to be open when all of the other spots were full. As if a fire truck was going to park in the space and run their water hoses hundreds of feet to get to a fire. Either it is that or she thought that every single person that was parked in a space along that area was illegally parked.

Don't you just love the human race?

That is all,

Newt