DA DADADADADA DA DAAAAAAA!!!!! It is my 100th Day. Many Presidents have accomplished less in their first 100 days in office than I have in the last 3+ months. Hell, one even died. So, today's task fit today quite well, seeing as it is Good Friday. Today, I had the awesome task of.....
Building my own crucifix and suffering as Jesus did.
"What?"
"Could it be?"
"Miracle upon miracles"
That's right kids. Your man Newt built himself a cross out of a fence post and a piece of spare wood and got hooked up to it. I didn't do the nails through the hands because that has a stigmata attached to it. Get it? Stigmata? Anyone?So, this morning I did some suffering. Diana was kind enough to accompany me, sort of my Mary Magdalene, as photographer. We drove down to the end of our block about 6 a.m. and I walked. I didn't have any B.C. robes so I just borrowed Diana's terrycloth, and for sandals I wore my flip flops.
It was fairly cold this morning so my tubby belly got a brisk wind to deal with. Talk about suffering. I was cutting glass. I am not sure what you would do if you saw a man walking with a cross on his back at 6 in the morning wearing a bathrobe as a woman takes pictures of him but the people that drove by me just kept driving.
I did quite a bit of suffering through this whole ordeal. When I got done with my walk, I took my cross down and the string I had used to "bind" my hands got tied around a finger and I couldn't get it off. The cold and lack of circulation made it start to throb. As I was standing there, jacking with a string attached to a cross, one of my neighbors pulled up to the Stop sign. I didn't turn to look at them but I am sure they were wondering what the hell this crazy person was doing.
I must say, Jesus is a better man than I. I had that lightweight set of sticks and I still got sick of it after a block. I almost got a splinter and it was quite chilly. I still can't figure how he rolled that rock out of the way 3 days later. I would have been way too tired.
That is all,
Newt
6 Ripples in the pond:
Hahaha ... that has to be the best task yet!!!
I would pay seriously large amounts of money to know what those people were thinking!
Aint that the truth.
I get the stigmata reference. Really nicely done. Please learn the difference between "to" and "too" and we'll be in good shape.
I'm sorry, it's the grammar nazi in me. Or perhaps more appropriately, the Roman solider/Pontius Pilate/Jew in me. Yipes.
Dang, my church in Dallas only has us do the nativity scene. Nice one!
I can't believe how funny everyone finds this. That is sad. That just because of some book you want to make a mockery of the way that Jesus Christ died for our sins. That is truly disgusting.
Anonymous, this had nothing to do with making a mockery of Jesus. I actually had more of an idea of this event after doing this than I had before.
Post a Comment