TBWCYL Day 144 - Man oh man

Today I celebrated being a man. That was the task and it was the perfect weekend to do it because I am visiting my buddy Thomas in Lubbock all weekend.

I started the morning with something any man would normally start their morning with...coffee. But soon after, around 10 am, I had a beer. It was dark and delicious. Just the thing to start off a manly morning.

There is an innate ability of the Y chromosome to sit without talking and Thomas and I did just that. We sat in a room for over an hour reading and not saying crap to one another. I might have been able to do this with Diana but most women couldn't handle keeping their yaps shut for that long.

We had to perform a lot of womanly duties today because Thomas' wife, Jessica, was out of town all weekend and it fell on us to take care of the baby. But she returned around lunch so we went to eat Bar B Q at a local place here. I put back a half a pound of pork and some corn...a real manly meal.

On the way to Thomas' house, I farted with an intensity that would make Paul Bunyan proud. It had a noxious odor to it that was a admirable to farting. I have had an awful case of beer farts all weekend and today I made use of them by farting at any moment available.

Against the theme of the day, Thomas and I met my gay friend, Dan, for a movie. We saw the nerdiest thing possible by watching the new Star Trek film and it was awesome. I had to pee so bad that I unbuckled my belt right in the theatre and once we were done, I celebrated by taking one of the longest pees in my history. It rivaled my Record attempt.

Can I just say that peeing standing up should have it's own holiday. Screw Juneteenth and MLK day, Stand up and Pee day should be put into law. It is so awesome to yank out my wang and shoot it into a large wall unit and then just shake it off and put it back in my pants. No wiping, no stall doors, and no lines. It sucks to be a woman for many reasons but this one has got to be the most consistent.

We went over to Dan's house for dinner and had steak and played bored games before returning home. I finished the night with another beer and peed outside against the fence. It was awesome. Girls are so screwed.

That is all,

Newt