Thursday, August 20, 2009

TBWCYL Day 232 - Hot Damn!!!

Today was deemed 'Sauna Day' by The Book. I was suppose to spend 20 minutes in a sauna to help purify my body and indulge in some healthy sweating.

How easy is that? I mean, everyone has a sauna in their house, right? No? You don't have a sauna in your home? Not even a little one?

Ain't that the shit? Cause neither do I!

I would just got to my gym and use the one there but they don't have one either because I go to a no frills gym. I didn't think I would ever need anything like this but I was wrong. So, I did as I always do and improvised.

Today the temperature got to around 98 degrees. That means that the inside temperature of the car would be about 114 degrees. So, when I got in my car to drive home, about a 25 minute drive, I didn't turn on the air conditioner. Lets just sit on that for a second. The next time you get in you car on a hot day, just sit there. Don't turn on the AC and see how enjoyable that is.

So now your thinking, "Jeez Trinity, that would be hot but not Sauna hot" and you are right. But, if you turn the heater on to say, I don't know, max heat and then crank it to 2 on the dial, well now your cooking with fire.

I left work right at 6 and got the oven going, sat fully dressed a polo and dress slacks in the truck and drove. The first 5 minutes were bearable because the car was only slightly baking. At 10 minutes sweat was forming on my brow in large beads. At 15 minutes I was sweating and starting to feel like my skin was baking. At 20 minutes I realized how dumb this idea was as my water had run out and I still had 5 minutes left to go. At 25 minutes I pulled into the garage and stepped into the cool 95 degree air.

Needless to say (Isn't that a funny expression? I mean, you say "Needless to say" but by saying it you deem it needed to be said. Makes you think), my crotch was sweaty, my pits were damp and my forehead was leaking. I guess I do have a sauna after all.

That is all,

Newt

7 Ripples in the pond:

the girl with the pink teacup said...

Trinity, I was laughing so indecently hard at the idea of your home-made sauna. It sounds truly, truly, truly horrible. But I've got to hand it to you: you're one ingenious bloke. And I'm glad your hands didn't get so sweaty that you lost control of your car or anything.

Part of me wishes you'd taken photos. But the rest of me is pretty glad you didn't :)

Trinity said...

There wasn't much to take photos of. A fat guy sweating in a tiny truck is pretty standard in Texas.

Simon said...

Good man. Not many people would try to improvise like that – they lack your imagination.

Addy's Daddy said...

Having known you for as long as I have, and the fact that I am not easily coerced to laugh out loud often, I usually find your posts only amusing. However, your comment to GWTPT did make me "lol". Am I the only person who hates that texting acronym?

Carrie said...

Well I'm officially impressed by your dedication. I wouldn't have lasted 2 minuets. Kudos.

Trinity said...

Thomas, I am glad to hear I amuse you.

Girl Interrupted said...

My! What a ... vivid image! :/