Friday, August 14, 2009

TBWCYL Day 226 - Yo' Homes, Smell ya later!

If you recall, I have had to go through days without my sense of taste, sight or sound. Well, today my marker came due and I was supposed to go through the day without my sense of smell. I have been trying to figure out how to go about this one since I don't find it plausible that my boss would believe me when I explained the clothespin on my nose was just a new thing "the kids were doing". I tried to stuff a earplug up my nose yesterday as a test but it just itched and made me jerk it out when it started expanding.

Diana and I were talking when she saw me rub my finger behind my ear and sniff it. She suggested that maybe I should just go through the day not smelling myself and I realized that might work. It is my sense of smell that is being used and while I wasn't cutting myself off completely, my willpower and memory was going to be tested all throughout the day.

In case you don't know, I am a sniffer. I don't know if it is an actual psychological disorder but it should be. You see, I sniff my fingers all day. If I touch something, my first instinct is to automatically bring my finger to my nose and sniff. In this way I am part bloodhound because I lock onto the scent and don't let go.

It is probably rather embarrassing for Diana to have to put up with it. Most of the time I don't realize I do it.

Here are the top 9 places I sniff the most. Most of these are done via finger contact

  1. My wrist where my watch band touches (Smells like leather and sweat)
  2. My ring finger under my wedding ring (Smells of sour water)Behind my ears (Smells like Parmesan cheese)
  3. The area where my nostril meets my face (indescribable)
  4. My hair (Smells like hair and pineapple because of my gel)
  5. The Dogs (Oh, so it's weird when I sniff my dogs but if a father sniffs his baby's hair that's OK?)
  6. The Air (I swear I smell something)
  7. My feet (After I take my socks off I am just curious what they smell like)
  8. My ball sack (I know it is gross but I just do it so you go right ahead and judge)
  9. My coin slot (Only right before I get in the shower)

In an effort to better control myself, I decided my wife was right and this would be more difficult than just plugging up my nose. So, I took on this with as much gusto as I had.

Upon getting out of bed I instantly had to remind myself not to smell my fingers. I went to the shower and scratched myself but didn't sniff. I then got out of the shower, intent on not checking to see if I smelled clean.

Getting to work, I went about my morning and after about 15 minutes of email and Internet, I sniffed my fingers. I don't know what caused it and I didn't mean to but it happened. I had let my guard down and faltered. But, it gave me a renewed sense of purpose and I stuck hard to avoiding sniffing.

I caught myself again while working on an email closer to lunch. By this time I had firmly been abstaining but after adjusting my watch I brought it close to my nose. Realizing what was happening, my left hand reacted as if propelled by some unseen force and slapped my arm away. It was a close call.

Things didn't get easier after lunch. I felt shame when, after messing with some papers, I found my fingers under my nostrils. Why does this affliction plague me?

I only had one additional sniffing incident that again involved my watchband. I was driving to pick up Diana when my watch band shifted on my wrist. Instantly, my wrist was to my nose. "What new scent has been created?" was all I could think about and as I sniffed, I realized what I was doing and instantly forced the air out of my nose, barely getting a slight whiff.

We spent the night out with friends and since I had a drink in my hand and was engaged in conversation, I guess I was able to avoid any additional breakdowns of will power. I need help.

That is all,


6 Ripples in the pond:

Girl Interrupted said...

Yep. It's official. You're weird :)

Ps: Your coin slot?? lol

Trinity said...

What do you guys call it?

Girl Interrupted said...

I dunno ... what are you referring to when you say coin slot???

the girl with the pink teacup said...

Newt, this was one of the best, funniest and strangest posts I've ever read. And one of my brothers TOTALLY does this! You are not alone in your sniffiness, dear man. Kudos to you for keeping such a tight reign on yourself for a whole day – I'm pretty sure my brother wouldn't be able to do it :)

You fucking rock. That is all.

Trinity said...

Thanks GWPTC. I have a lot of people who would disagree with you on my sniffing rocking but I will take the compliment.

I miss you blogging.

Carrie said...

Congratulations on the completion of another successful task. Very entertaining. :)