Some people may not know this but I can't say 'I believe in God', at least not in the traditional sense. I understand the need for religion and even like the idea in theory but just never have been a believer. However, if you don't engage me in discussions about it I usually keep my opinions to myself.
I also would like to point out that even though I am very skeptical about organized religion, I am respectful of it. I don't use the Lord's name in vain, I am very respectful in churches, and I respect The Bible. So, today's task was pretty bad when you consider that it is a direct mockery of religion. I was to go to a confessional today, catholic or not, and confess my sins to a priest. I decided to take a moral stand on teasing God so instead I found a suitable alternative.
I can confess my sins in the same manner as in a confessional and get my penance. So, some of the sins I took to confession? And they have a handy rating system for sins. It is A to E where A is the worst and E is the least sinful.
Consulting Horoscopes - Class E: This was done on a task so I owned up to it.
Excessive Consumerism - Class C: I spend $40 a week on comics and eat out like crazy.
Greed - Class D: I figure I am greedy at least some times so I threw this in to be safe.
Missing Mass on any Sunday or Holy Day of Obligation - Class A: I haven't been to church in so long I forget what it looks like.
Vandalism - Class D: Another task. The Book is making me sin...I didn't know that.
Any use of or purchasing of pornographic material - Class A: What can I say...I like to take care of business.
Fornication...premarital sex - Class A: This was an old one but I got the milk for free for a long time before I bought the cow. You know what I'm sayin'?
Masturbation - Class A: See Pornographic Material. There isn't a class higher than A but I should probably get an A+ on this one.
Oral sex - Class D: Shhhhhhh
Use of artificial birth control - Class A: OHHHH YEAHHH!!!!
Internal Sins(These were fun to pronounce)
Delectatio Morosa - the pleasure taken in a sinful thought or imagination even without desiring it - Class C: I have these all the time. I like sinful thoughts.
Gaudium - dwelling with complacency on sins already committed - Class C: Check! Like this one time...sorry. My mind started to wander.
Desiderium - the desire for what is sinful - Class B: Forbidden Fruit...ummmm!!!
Seven Deadly Sins
Vainglory (Pride) - Class A: Diana told me I had to do the highest on this. If she were as smart as me she would have seen that I don't have much of a problem with this.
Avarice - Class E: I had to look this definition up but I don't have much for gaining money. Stuff sure, but not money.
Gluttony - Class D: I eat too much...I drink too much...I want too much...TOO MUCH!!!
Lust - Class B: I am not even sure that there is any reason to say anything here.
Sloth - Class E: I don't get up early to work out but I make sure my yard is mowed.
Envy - Class D: Erin got a 32" TV a week after I bought a 27". I still haven't let it go.
Anger - Class E: I am actually pretty proud of this because while I become annoyed, perturbed, and frustrated I rarely become angry.
I am not counting "Gods Before Him" because I don't have any other Gods either.
Idolatory - Class C: I have an entire room dedicated to a super hero. Golden Calf anyone?
Blasphemy - Class A: I am so guilty of this it isn't funny. Actually, it is kinda funny.
Failure to Respect the Sabbath - Class C: I don't attend church and I am sick of Chick-Fil-A being closed on Sunday.
Theft - Class D: This is much more from my past but I steal CoffeeMate from the fridge at work.
Lying - Class C: I am pretty good at lying. Ask Diana.
Coveteousness - Class C: I don't mind if you have what I want, I want us both to have it.
So, I finished my confession and put all my sins in my "shopping cart" and off I went to confessional. The result...
So, it appears I will be starving for 3 weeks and pretty busy yelling "Mary" and "Father". So if you don't hear from me assume that is why.
Funny story. One of the sins was Felching. I didn't know what it was so I looked it up on the Wiki. Click here is you don't know. I wasn't guilty of it though, just to clear your minds
That is all,