Today was 'Shoplift Day' and I have already completed my task. It is 7:50 am and I have already stolen something. No not your hearts, dear reader. Those I took long ago. Instead I took a Snickers Bar from a convenience store first thing this morning. 
Does it say something about me that some of these tasks take me all day to get around to but when it comes to me stealing things, I just knock them out first thing in the morning?
I went to a local QT, which is a much better store as they serve fresh brewed tea, and got a drink before work. I am not a dumb criminal so as I walked towards the fountain, I scoped my surroundings and made sure to check for any cameras. My main fear in getting caught was I would get banned from the store and not be able to go get tea ever again.
I have been buying two drinks at a time due to a special they are running so I had two 32oz drinks in my hand and as I was putting lids on the cups, I reached around and grabbed a Snickers bar from a basket that had candy bars in it. I then went about my drink preparation. Then I slid the bar in my pocket.
I find that when shoplifting, the best method is to buy enough stuff that no one would ever expect you to steal anything. Not an obscene amount but just enough. So along with my two teas I also grabbed a couple of boxes of Gobstoppers and checked out.
They never suspected a thing.
That is all,
Newt
Does it say something about me that some of these tasks take me all day to get around to but when it comes to me stealing things, I just knock them out first thing in the morning?
I went to a local QT, which is a much better store as they serve fresh brewed tea, and got a drink before work. I am not a dumb criminal so as I walked towards the fountain, I scoped my surroundings and made sure to check for any cameras. My main fear in getting caught was I would get banned from the store and not be able to go get tea ever again.
I have been buying two drinks at a time due to a special they are running so I had two 32oz drinks in my hand and as I was putting lids on the cups, I reached around and grabbed a Snickers bar from a basket that had candy bars in it. I then went about my drink preparation. Then I slid the bar in my pocket.
I find that when shoplifting, the best method is to buy enough stuff that no one would ever expect you to steal anything. Not an obscene amount but just enough. So along with my two teas I also grabbed a couple of boxes of Gobstoppers and checked out.
They never suspected a thing.
That is all,
Newt
4 Ripples in the pond:
You do seem to be pretty good about stealing stuff - no waiting around on those tasks. Do you have to add in some extra "Hail Mary" and "Our Father" time to cover this task?
Only if I confess again. I imagine that if I didn't have stronger morals I would be planning heists ala Oceans 11.
Erin, he has been a professional shop lifter since I have known him. Over the years, he has honed his craft on Carefree gum and comic book trading cards (and I was an accessory to almost all of them).
I just shopped you to the cops ... it's for your own good
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