Friday, January 23, 2009

TBWCYL Day 23 - Plastic Fantastic

Today I was supposed to make a no obligations appointment with a plastic surgeon to find out all that could be done to "fix" me. Two problems with this, I don't feel good today and I couldn't bring myself to waste mine and someone else's time when I have absolutely no intention of getting work done.

However, thanks to the Internet, I still did my task. There is a doctor in Dallas that does plastic surgery by the name of Dr. Hackney. He has a very informative website where he walks through all the considerations of different plastic surgery options via video. So, I just watched his videos and here is what I think I can get.

Liposuction: after covering the different methods, I am pretty sure I need some Tumescent liposuction. The stick saline in your fat and then suck it out. It helps the skin smooth out. I got a lot of fat so I could come out looking like a deflated raft after a long day of inner tubing on the lake. I would also have to make sure they suck some of this fat out from under my chin so I can avoid the turkey neck.

Tummy Tuck: If I got Lipo, the Tummy Tuck would be a must. I have a lot of skin and I don't need to see it unless it is taut and supple, as it is now.

Rhinoplasty: Anyone who knows me can probably guess that I could benefit from a nose job. In the doctors words, "You may be a good candidate for nose job surgery if your nose is too large for your face". I think mine could fit this. Plus, I have picked it so much that they could easily shrink up these caverns I call nostrils.

Body Contouring: This has a few things under it. I am just below the BMI index to be eligible for these procedures so I am cutting it close. My arms aren't flabby so I guess a Brachioplasty (upper arm lift) isn't needed. I think I could get a thigh lift, because they take fat and skin out from between your thighs and I can't be outside for long without starting a fire from the friction caused by my legs slapping together. I had to stop wearing corduroy for the same reason.

Breast Reduction: I definitely don't need implants but I might be good for a breast reduction. They don't sag too low but I would love to have smaller boobs than Diana. You can see an example of the me I could be here. I wish I had known about the pictures on these sites when I was younger. I would have searched Breast augmentation years ago.

I am too young for a face lift and don't really have too many wrinkles anyway. I also think I can avoid Botox since I don't have too many wrinkles. I don't think I could ever actually get surgery unless I had some sort of accident. I try to take care of my body but I don't care enough that I need to get cut open. Aside from the Penis Reduction Surgery I had to have as a baby, I guess I will just avoid the knife.

That is all,


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