Thursday, January 15, 2009

TBWCYL Day 15 - That is SOOO GAY!!!

It's official...I'M GAY!!! Well, at least for the day I was. I know what you're thinking, "Newt? Gay? Not that Manly Man who makes Chuck Norris look like Clay Aiken". But that was my task today, "Be Gay for a Day". So, I embodied everything I could think of in the homosexual arena and embraced it...except weiners. I definitely did not embrace any of those.

This actually started last night as I decided I needed a pink shirt to wear to work to proudly say, "I'm Gay." However, I decided this last night at 9:20 when the genius idea hit me so I shot over to Wal-Mart but low and behold, they don't have any pink shirts. Hunting jacket, yes. Pink Shirt, no. So I high tailed it over to Kohl's and with 10 minutes until they closed I picked out a pink button down and a brown sweater that complimented it.

This morning I got up and went to work out. Not Gay per se but I know a few Gay guys and they love to work out so I figured it counted. I checked out some guys packages at the gym but wasn't too impressed. After my workout it was time to get ready. I showered, gelled my hair in the gayes way possible(sadly this was by doing it the same way I always do but more tidy and with a few more spikes in the front then normal) and I got dressed. I had given myself 10 extra minutes in the bathroom to make sure I did this right.

I put on my pink shirt, which was too tight(Gay?), with my brown vest over it and made sure that not only was my collar straight, but I rolled my sweater sleeves up to make sure the cuffs of the shirt stuck out. I put on a pair of pants that Straight Newt would have easily worn and then switched them because I thought another pair would match better and I was right because within 3 seconds of seeing me, my carpool buddy told me she liked my outfit. Gush.

All throughout the day I threw "fabulous" into conversation and people continued to comment on my clothes. I was also told I was Gay when I asked a co-worker if she wanted to go to lunch and have girl talk since I hadn't seen her in a while. Twice I flirted with a guy I work with: once he felt my sweater to see the material and I just purred and during a conversation he looked at another coworker and I said "I wish you looked at me that way" to which he responded "He He, What are YOU doing later".

Once out of work I wanted to make sure I had this done to the best of my ability so in stereotypical Gay fashion, I went shopping. I got so many compliments on my sweater that I went and got three more and a pair of shoes...and it was all on sale Girlfriend.

To finish my day of Gay, I decided I needed to at least see something blatantly homosexual. Since I didn't have any pictures of Thomas, I decided to watch a Gay porn. I'm sure you're all thinking, "What, No Way!!!" but I am supposed to be Gay today so I got on RedTube and searched for something and found a little gem called "A Day In the Pork". I have seen Gay porn maybe twice in my life and I didn't think I would have reason to again but(pun intended) here I was and I have to say...That is some weird shit!

Two dudes gobbeling on each others junk is weird looking enough but when they actually do the deed, I kept expecting a second hole that just wasn't there. It ended the same way as most porn I have seen does but one thing I did think was sporting was that even though one finished, the other got his turn too. Oh, and so did the camera man.

That is all,


3 Ripples in the pond:

Addy's Daddy said...

I worry about you on so many levels....

Trinity said...

And I appreciate it.

Erin said...

Me, too. The worrying part.