Thursday, April 27, 2006

Sexual Awareness Week Day 4: It's a Mystery!

Today's installment of Sexual Awareness Week focuses on teaching your children about sexual predators. We are going to put a new spin on the classic game "Mystery Date." With the internet currently providing so many different outlets for children to meet people, sexual predators are lurking on chat rooms and websites. Dateline just did another special on catching child predators.
So, my new game is simple. Hell, you don't even have to change the name. Just call it "Mystery Date: Millennium Edition." My version will be on a computer to help give the realism of what teens face today. In this game, each player has to figure out if they are chatting with a sexual predator or an average teenage boy using a generic instant messaging system. By asking questions, they have to narrow down whether they are talking to Chad, the high school football star who, as we all know, is dreamy, or are they possibly talking to Earl, father of two and just hitting 40.

A hint while playing, if he can name any of the Pink Floyd album titles, you're probably talking to Earl. As the game progresses, you will learn more about the person you are talking too and at the end of the game, you will invite your person over. If it turns out to be a child predator, then you just got fondled inappropriately and will be scarred for life. But, if it really is Chad, then you will go out for a soda and win the game. Isn't reality fun?

With the current forum for weird sickos to get their jollies, kids should be careful. Back in the 50's these people existed, they just didn't have such an easy way to vent their fantasies. So, as a rule of thumb, and I think a great slogan for the new Mystery Date, "A 40 year old penis doesn't go with a 14 year old whoowhoo."

That is all,


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