Land Ho!

I was recently on a conference call for work when someone mentioned that they were on a computer so old that it could have played Oregon Trail. This brought to me so many fond memories of the 5th grade and all of the free time that was spent trying to race my family across the plains in an effort to help them survive. I don’t know how many gold stars I had to get to play, but darn it I was on that computer constantly. I cried when my little boy got cholera, and darn it if we didn’t have a few broken wheels along the way. What I found most heartening about the entire fiasco was that it was so random. Thus I bring to you something you should use in your every day life,

“Oregon Trails Life Lessons”

1. Don’t let your children out of your sight because if you do they will get bit by a rattler and there is no anti venom on the trail.
2. Keep your Oxen tied up at night. They are stupid animals and will drown if not properly secured.
3. Keep your cuts clean. Gangrene can set in at any moment and crossing the trail sans a leg can really be a bitch.
4. I’m not sure what cholera is, but watch out for it. It was the bane of my Oregon Trail experience.
5. It's an open plain. This means you should see the pot holes coming. Therefore, avoid them so you won’t have to replace so many wheels.
6. Beware dysentery.
7. Be creative on your tombstone, you only die once each game so make it memorable.
8. Avoid Native American
9. Hunting is a game, at least by the Oregon Trail standards.
And finally
10. Apparently Oregon doesn’t suck

That is all,
Newt