Tuesday, April 04, 2006

The Misadventures of Duncan and Hazel - A Dog Day Afternoon

Ah, the day in a life of a dog. Imagine if you will...

"Hey Hazel, that couch sure looks mighty comfortable. Do you want to switch spots with me?"
"Look D, ain't gonna happen. You've gotten too comfortable bein' all pampered from living with the old man for so long. You've gone and lost all your street cred. You want this spot you just got to take it."
"Well, I'm not sure what street cred is, but I haven't lost anything."
"Oh Yeah! Prove it."

Not knowing what to do, Duncan decided to walk over to the hole that Hazel had eaten in his bed and began to pull out all the stuffing. As he spit the blue cotton candy out he said, "How about that?"

"You dumb mutt, that ain't nothin'. You got to really rebel. Watch." The spry Terrier began to walk along the back of the couch until she was able to reach the countertop. From there she used her snout to push off a brand new box of Puffs tissue onto the floor.
"Well I don't see how that was better then mine" said Duncan. "I mean, look at the mess I made."
"Well sure, but I'm not done yet." Hazel began to systematically pull each tissue out of the box. "This is takin way too long" she said, "I'm just gonna rip this box apart." And she did.

Duncan had lived with Trinity for way too long to let Hazel just one up him like that so he did the only thing he could do, as his short legs hindered him from reaching too high. He waddled over to the record player and pulled the toy basked down. Toys flew everywhere and as he dragged it into the living room, a berzerker rage took over Hazel.

"Damn, D. You knows I can't resist Wicker!" And Hazel tore into the basket, mixing blue stuffing, tissues and basket in a tornado of trash. As Duncan walked over to the spot Hazel had been keeping warm, he thought, "I may not have any street cred, but when dad gets home, I know he's gonna blame Hazel. I would rather be a dumb mutt, the a red assed Norfolk Terrier."










That is all,

Newt

14 Ripples in the pond:

Anonymous said...

Maybe if you returned Hazel to the pound, they would pro-rate your $ back.
I am remaining anonymous on purpose.

Trinity said...

I dont know who said that but you are a horrible individual. And I am pretty sure i know who said that.

Thomas said...

Who do you think it was Vaughn? Because I am really curious!

Trinity said...

More than likely it was Natalee because she hates dogs.

Guess who?? said...

Nope, it isn't Natalee. I don't hate dogs, in fact, I love dogs. I just know that lightning doesn't strike twice with dogs. Hazel is never going to be as sweet and obedient as Duncan. But I will love her anyway.

Thomas said...

BAM! It was Hazel's Mommy!!!

--GASP--!!!!!

Guess who?? said...

No wrong again...

Thomas said...

Fine then! My new guess is either that Diana is lying or it is Trinity himself who posted as "anonymous"! Shock & Awe! Or its somebody else, like Kristy...

Trinity said...

Im not sure who it is but the speech makes me think it is Kristy or Teri. Though Teris dogs arent always on their best behavior so I think it commentor is ... Kristy

Diana said...

Thomas, how could you possibly think that I would suggest taking Hazel back to the pound? She is my little baby!
I thought it was kristi from the get-go. She would never take care of Hazel if we didn't have Duncan to make up for her shit.

Jessica said...

Trinity, I just wanted to share that I do not think you should return Hazel. But I will tell you that I think you should go and get a crate! This would solve so many problems and I promise you she will be okay in it. Try it for a while at least and see what you think. (Just wanted to tell you my opinon, take it or leave it):-)

Kristy said...

It's me :)
I am getting a crate tonight, (it's mine that I lent to a friend, and now I'm getting it back) you guys can have it.

Natalee said...

Trinity,
I can't belive that you thought I would say that. I do not hate dogs. I love dogs, and I really love any dog that is going to give you hell.

Nat

Teri said...

Meeeeeee?!? I'd never say anything like that. Well, how much did you pay for her? :) Kidding.
I have five badbadbad dogs/cats. How could I suggest anything like that? Glass houses...