Thursday, September 10, 2009

TBWCYL Day 253 - Damn you Aunt Roberta

I almost died today. The task was to mix the Worlds Strongest Cocktail, called an Aunt Roberta, and sample it. Diana was game for this one.

2 shots Absinthe
1 shot Brandy
3 shots Vodka
1 1/2 shots Gin
1 shot Creme de Mure

We had Vodka and Gin in the house so we set out to find the other three items and get our drink on. We hit our first liquor store, Goody Goody, and went in search of all three. Turns out none of these are sold in those little souvenir bottles so I was faced with the decision of buying big bottles, close to $100 in liquor, going somewhere else, or giving up. We found a cheep bottle of brandy and asked about Creme de Mure and the lady working looked at us funny and asked what that is. Diana Googled it and learned it was Blackberry flavored liqueur. But we were in luck. We found a Blackberry flavored brandy and killed two birds with one cheap bottle of liquor.

The only Absinthe they had ranged from $40 to $60 and I already knew I didn't like it so I didn't want a huge bottle of something I knew I couldn't drink so we bought what we had and went in search of a tiny bottle of Absinthe.

We hit the liquor store next door that was closing down and thought we might find a steal but were without luck. Next we drove a couple of blocks to Majestic liquor but found the same conundrum. However, knowing that Absinthe tastes like liquorice I called an audible and decided to buy Jagermeister instead. I even got a cool shot glass with the bottle.

Now, with liquor in hand we came home to figure out our drink. Using my new shot glass I got out the mixing glass and followed the recipe.

2 shots Absinthe(Jager) Check My stomach smelled the liquorice and started to turn
1 shot Brandy and 1 shot Creme de Mure(2 shots of the Blackberry Brandy) I started to get queasy at the thought of drinking this
3 shots Vodka My God this smells strong
1 1/2 shots Gin I don't think I can do this.

Once our drinks were mixed I started to feel a bit of hesitation. I could feel my stomach turning from the idea of that much alcohol and the smell of licorice was making me nauseous.

I braced myself, held my breath and put the glass to my lips. I took a small swig onto my tongue and once it made its way toward the back of my throat my gag reflex kicked in and I had to turn and eject it all back into the sink. I jerked the faucet on and let the water run over my tongue and back out. The taste was incredibly offensive.

Diana was able to both take a sip and swallow so she is apparently not as big a pussy as I am. I felt awful afterward and can't imagine why anyone would ever drink an Aunt Roberta unless they wanted to commit suicide.

That is all,


11 Ripples in the pond:

Erin said...

Ouch. No thank you.

What is growing on your face??

mo.stoneskin said...

I'm guessing Aunt Roberta drinks them, perhaps accompanied by a piece of cake mounted on a doily-covered china plate.

Mega8815 said...

OMG there is no way in hell!! You're wife is my hero. That's brilliant... and you're a wussy... so am I!!! LOL

Natalie said...

That is by far the nastiest drink I've ever heard of. (The only thing worst is a NJ Turnpike shot.)

Trinity said...

Erin: that would be a goatee.

Mega: I am a huge wussy. It didn't help that years ago I had an experience with Watermelon Pucker that causes me to instantly have issues with any strong smelling alcohol...and some hand soaps.

Natalie: I have never had a NJ turnpike and I don't know that I want to if it is close to this.

Addy's Daddy said...

My favorite unnecessary line - "Diana was game for this one."

Erin said...

I've replenished my watermelon soap supply. I'm sorry - I'll try to switch scents next time.

Trinity said...

Well, when you have a wife that constantly bitches about The Book and my daily tasks, when she is actually game for one I like to point it out.

Soda and Candy said...

Oh man... Jager is just bad news all the time.

ladytruth said...

Thanks for the idea :) My friend's bachelor's party is coming up soon and I have a sneaky suspicion the boys might just want this recipe for disaster.

Girl Interrupted said...

Yick! I'm feeling queasy just thinking about it! :/