I am a crying little Bitch right now. My face is stained with warm tears and I just finished sobbing uncontrollably. My task was to "Have a Good Cry" today and to do that Diana and I watched "Marley and Me" again and I lost it just like the last time.
We went and bought the movie because to achieve a good cry I knew exactly what I would need: Dead Dog. I saw "Marley and Me" when it was in theatres and didn't make it out of the theatre with a dry shirt. The tears made my shoulders moist.
I thought it might not be as powerful the second time around but the second that the daughter came down the stairs and asked "Is he sick again?" I started bawling uncontrollably. It just got worse from there.
I have had to put a dog to sleep before when I was younger and the entire time my sister and I were both wrecks while my mother somehow held it together. I thought back to that moment as Owen Wilson is telling the dog that he was the best dog...Oh God! I am about to start again.
Diana actually got up and left the room right before Marley was taken to the vet, saying "I can't watch this. Turn it off. I need my dogs" and took Duncan and Hazel with her. I toughed it out and made it through the whole movie. How is beyond me.
Why do dogs have to die? I don't ever want to think about having to put either of my fur babies to sleep. Just thinking about it makes my eyes mist up.
Crying is so cathartic. Sometimes I feel like you let emotion build up and maybe it takes a month or six or even a year but then you just get to a point where you have to let it out and when those warm streams exit your eyes and run down your cheeks it is like a baptism. Almost as if you are washing away all of the troubles that caused those tears and in crying you are hitting the rest button on your emotional baggage.
I must say it feels good.
That is all,
Newt
Newt
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