Wednesday, October 07, 2009

TBWCYL Day 279 - I might be Mistaken

Yesterday got away from me and I had to scramble to do my task. I had made plans to go see a movie last night and was going to do the required task while there but an emergency came up for a friend and I ended up playing Mr. Mom for about 5 hours last night.

My coworker has a 4 month old little girl and I am her emergency contact in case I ever need to go pick her up from daycare. Well, yesterday my coworker's husband had to go to the emergency room for some stomach pain and that left me to go get the baby. I don't know how a lot of things work but I can usually get through most things with kids. I get better with them as they get older but even babies usually take to me. I think it is the extra layers of cushioning.

I went to pick this baby up and instantly she burped up all over herself. When I got her home she just started crying and I couldn't get her to stop. I don't know if it was the new surroundings, the fact that I have never held her, or the fact that my house was too hot but she just wouldn't quit. Diana rushed home to help me as soon as she got off but it left me alone with a screaming baby for about 30 minutes. Of course, as soon as Diana took her she stopped so that pissed me off. Stupid baby!

Anyway, so I couldn't go to the mall or the movie and at 10 we were still watching the kid so I had to rush home and get The Book to try to find a doable task. Thus I bring you 'My Biggest Mistake'.

My biggest mistake is pretty clear to me in hindsight. At the ripe old age of 18, just as soon as I became 'an adult' by graduating high school, I got engaged. Imagine little Newt with his quarter carat diamond, hands trembling... I thought it was the thing to do and I also thought it was what I wanted. I find that the mixture of young love, endorphins and lust can really get me into trouble.

My fiancee and I lived together for 11 months and then ended our apartment to move to our respective parents homes. It got worse from there and the wedding was called off on account of apathy. We fell in love quick and out of love slower but still quick enough. There were some other starts and stops but in the end it was over and I moved to Lubbock to attend Texas Tech.

Looking back on it, I know that this was my biggest mistake for a lot of reasons.

  • I was 18 and wasn't thinking with my best brain; my little one had more pull than I cared to admit.
  • I held off attending Tech for 2 years because of my engagement.
  • I didn't take my first year of college very seriously because I was so wrapped up in my love life, and it affected my grades.
  • I almost became a cliche instead of a story to tell my children.
  • I would probably be divorced right now if I had gotten married.

I learned a lot from living with my fiancee and I won't say I would change it if I could. That past experience shaped my thoughts and actions for what has been the rest of my life so far. I learned a little bit about being an adult and living with the opposite sex, how to pay bills, and how to be self sufficient. But there is a part of me that will stop occasionally and just think, "I would be married almost 5 years right now if I had gone through with it" and that freaks me out.

As a side note, my parents weren't supportive of my engagement at the time and a part of me was pissed but the other part of me understood. My father gave me a look of disappointment and the advice, "You can do what you want but just don't get her pregnant". I was kind of insulted by it at the time. Years later I found out that my dad had gotten married to a woman before my mother who I had never heard of. Luckily he followed his own advice and I don't have a big brother or sister running around out there but I remember thinking, "Why didn't you share this experience with me when you were telling me not to get engaged?". I don't think it would have changed my decision but at least I would have known that what he was saying came from experience.

So, there you have it. My Biggest Mistake.

That is all,


9 Ripples in the pond:

ladytruth said...

Another plus: since you'd asked the Question once already, you were kind of better prepared the second time around? ;)

Lola Lakely said...

I love posts like this. Learning about someone's past is always interesting to me, espcecially when it is someone who is prone to start most posts with humor. I had a mistake like that. My only regret is that it took me way too long to learn that it was a mistake because it was a lesson I could have learned in a much quicker fashion.

Erin said...

I admire you for baring your soul and past to the vast interwebs. I'm also glad Diana somehow agreed to marry you - I mean, you've basically married the Baby Whisperer. You're totally set.

mo.stoneskin said...

I was very close to getting engaged at 18. Phew.

But the baby, it has stopped crying now? Pity the day's task wasn't (by a startling coincidence) to look after a baby.

Trinity said...

Mo. Trust me when I say I scoured that book looking for just that task. It isn't in there.

Erin, I think I lost my baby whispering skills cause that baby wasn't listening at all last night.

Erin said...

Babies usually adore you!! I'm a little concerned.

Soda and Candy said...

That's intense. I think it takes a lot of guts to call off something like that and not just let the tide keep carrying you on. Good on you!

Addy's Daddy said...

According to the lady at The Thrifty Nickel when you sold that ring, the correct spelling is quarter carrot diamond, sir.

I don't think I have told you this, but I was really disappointed when you told me you were going to ask her to marry you and that you weren't coming to college with me. However, in hind sight things probably worked out for the best. If you had come and lived in a dorm with me, I probably wouldn't have killed you, plus there wouldn't have been any room for your comics. Also, I would have never met Robitussin Rob and I think we all can agree that not doing so would have been the biggest mistake of my life!

Trinity said...

I think you meant you would have killed me.

We have talked about this before and I am sorry I hurt you. Our time apart only made our I mean friendship stronger.