Friday, January 26, 2007

"Not in the face, Not in the face"

Random thought. How many porn stars have been injured on the job? I can assume that there is the occasional broken bone(pun) and from time to time a VD, but I would like to bring to light something that I think plagues the porn industry: Eye problems.


"Why would they have eye problems?" you ask. Well, I have done extensive research in this area and have begrudgingly sat through many videos and determined that there has to be multiple semen/eye injuries. I actually sat down and tried to find a medical study on the number of causes of eye infection/blindness caused by bad aim and a happy ending, but couldn't locate any info on this. It has to exist.


It is a common occurrence for ejaculation to happen on someones face during a porn video. Also, semen can exit the body at a fast rate. You normally get between .5 to 1 teaspoon in volume, with an average of 3 to 10 spurts per event. These spurts happen every .8 seconds. Now, I don't know about you, but if someone were to shoot a water gun at my face every .8 seconds, I would be afraid to get blinded.


Also, I read that this can cause the clap in your eye. OWWWW!!! It seems like they must get a bonus for getting a facial or something. They should really issue safety goggles when they perform. Well, now that I have thoroughly disgusted the majority of my readers,


That is all,


Newt

1 Ripples in the pond:

Thomas said...

I must say that the "if someone were to shoot a water gun at my face" comment made me crack up!

Also, I think you need rehab for your porn addiction. I thought you left that behind you, specifically on Tyler's doorstep with the "drive by porning!"