Thursday, May 18, 2006

My Own Personal Hell

Has anyone ever considered what Hell will be like? I used to say, and occasionally still do, that I would be going to Hell and Thomas would be there to meet me. Well, now that I think about it that would be pretty Hellacious, but in truth I don’t necessarily know if that would be my personal Hell.

What would your personal Hell be? I have given this a lot of thought (5 minutes) and have come up with the following scenario. Imagine if you will…

I would wake up on a daily basis and will be force fed broccoli. Throughout the day, though I am not sure how time will work in Hell, I am forced to tear apart my comic book collection page by page and let people use it for toilet paper. Diana will continually rotate through my Hell and tell me how small my penis is and how her new boyfriend, which will be black (due to my innate fear of black people), is so much better than me in every way. I will then have to watch as both of my beloved animals, Duncan and Hazel, be beaten to death and then reincarnated and beaten again. I am pretty sure that some really bad music, like Abba or the Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack will be blaring over a loudspeaker. I am fairly sure that at some point I will have physical pain caused onto me, but I am not sure what. No matter, it won’t be pleasant.

So today, I want you to consider what your personal hell is.

That is all,

Newt

2 Ripples in the pond:

Thomas said...

Good question, HLM. I'm pretty sure that my own personal Hell will be to have to read this post! Over and over and over again!

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mom-in-law said...

Boy trinity it sure sounds llike you thought about this alot more than 5 min. Yeeeeek