Sunday, June 08, 2008

The Misadventures of Duncan and Hazel - I'm Pooped

A couple of days ago I was sitting at home with Duncan and Hazel and smelled something funny. I looked over and what did I see but Duncan nibbling on something behind the coffee trunk. I knew they didn't have any food and I was perplexed when I yelled "Duncan" and saw that sitting between his paws was a turd. Not much of one really, just about the size of a Rolo. I had to go pick it up and throw it away. I can only imagine what preceded this event.

Hazel: Yo, yo, yo Dunc-Man, what are you doing outside when it is so hot?
Duncan: Well Hazel, I am slightly hungry and, well, do you remember a few days ago when we were given those bones? Well, I have really been craving another one of those and I found a piece of your poop that seems to have the same flavors and...well you figure it out.
H: Are you eating my $#!+???
D: What do you think I'm doing? I'm not proud of myself but I am an over eater. Mom and Dad haven't been home much and it makes me sad. When I get sad, I eat. Then I feel happy again.
H: But Dad is home. Why you sad now?
D:....Just leave me alone.
H: You like the taste don't you? You like to eat $#!+ don't you? You just made up that sad story so I wouldn't judge you. You are a disgrace to the canine race.

A slight pause is taken as Duncan reflects on what was just said. Finally, he begins to respond when he sees Hazel's ass in his face.

H: Here, why don't you just go to the source? You can pretend it is a soft serve machine. Sorry, we are all out of cones. HA HA!!!
D: That's it, I am taking my snack in the house where you can't behave like this. Dad probably won't even notice since he is watching the talking box.

Well, I did notice but there is no telling how long it actually took me. Needless to say, it does confirm my suspicions that Duncan's breath doesn't naturally smell like poop.

That is all,


1 Ripples in the pond:

Anonymous said...