Friday, March 23, 2007

If I was Invisible...

No, I am not singing that Clay Aiken song, though it sure is catchy. First, let me start by saying that I believe my creative side is linked to my bladder because I come up with some of my best stuff when I am peeing. Case in point, What would I do if I could become invisible?



I decided that if I could become invisible I would eat a lot of beans and randomly walk around loudly farting next to really attractive people. If done correctly, I could make everyone believe that some hot girl let one rip and it would smell awful. I'm not kidding either. My farts can get really rank. They smell like liquid Ass.

Back to what I was saying, the possibilities are endless for my inviso-toots. You could wait until some guy was standing at a urinal and let a loud one go. No one would believe him when he said he didn't do it. Or you could get pay back on that girl that said no to you when you asked them out in high school by going to her wedding and as she leans in to kiss the groom, wet fart. That would teach her to turn you down.

The penultimate would be if you just inviso-farted in a room with only one person in it. They would be sitting there and hear one rip while they were all alone. How weird would you feel if you heard a fart and smelled it when you were the only one home. Creepy. Dammit I wish I could become invisible.

That is all,

Newt

1 Ripples in the pond:

Thomas said...

I really like that, out of all of things that you could do when you are invisible, the only thing that you could come up with was farting around people. You don't have to be invisible to do that... I do it all the time and then play like I have no idea what that smell is!