Friday, March 02, 2007

Bounce back

Last night Diana and I went to dinner and I had to pee. So I went to the bathroom and stood at the urinal when I realized that I was in flip flops. Women, you have probably never faced this problem unless you just have a weird stream but if you wear flip flops to the urinal, you had better be damn careful about pee splashing.

There is a fine art to peeing in a urinal. Aim to high and you get a fine mist of pee shooting back at you, aim to low and you create a popping that causes pee to fly at you like a grenade. Normally this is an acceptable occurrence but if you happen to be in sandals or flip flops, you will walk away with pee on your feet. You do not want pee on your feet.

Luckily, I didn't just go all willy nilly and let fly before checking my surroundings. I was able to flow without any overflow, if you know what I'm saying. I remember when I used to go to Ulmer Park Swimming Pool and would use the urinals that dropped straight down to the floor. We were to dumb to realize you needed shoes in a swimming pool bathroom and I would always end up with pee on my bare feet. Luckily I would just get back in the pool and let the yellow wash away. I love Chlorine.

That is all,

Newt

8 Ripples in the pond:

Thomas said...

That is one random picture, dude!

Erin said...

Yet another reason to avoid public places....public swimming pools, public bathrooms, people walking around with who knows what all over their feet....I think I'll become a hermit.

That's icky, Trin.

Mark Shields said...

I love it when people hot link to my photos without permission. Great!

Trinity said...

Well Mr. Shields, I am sorry to link to your pic. It was great and random and I love Stormtroopers.

Thomas said...

Wow! If you don't like people using your photos you shouldn't put them on the web, dude!

truely amazed said...

Wow! That Mark Shields guy sure knows how to write a blog. He gives in detail, hard-hitting facts with a minute by minute account of his life and daily happenings.

For instance did you know that on 03/03/2007 he posted that "On Friday morning, I drove to Whataburger to buy a double-egg no-sausage breakfast on a bun ranchero sandwich and an orange juice on the side." and that on 02/21/2007 he posted that "On Wednesday, January 24, 2007, I was eating lunch at my desk when I had the following instant messaging conversation" (I'm not going to post it here) that lasted from 11:50:17 AM to 12:39:16 PM. That's 49 minutes folks, while at work at his desk eating lunch. When was the last time that you did something so awe inspiring? Huh??? And to top the cake he posted on 02/03/2007 that, "My flight into Vienna on Austrian Airways was quite cozy and the flight staff managed to bring me the vegetarian meal I'd requested. That practically never happens. My suitcase did NOT make the transfer in New York even though we were sitting on the gate for 90 minutes waiting for a storm to subside. The takeoff featured two cameras that you could watch the ground and forward view of the aircraft. Really cool if all goes well. Really bad if all goes awry. The Hertz pickup counter was a little unusual. There was a board with 5 names on it (mine included). I am driving a Ford something or other manual transmission. For someone who learned to drive stick on a DeLorean, I have had very few issues." That's right a DeLorean people. Can anyone say Back to the Future?

Thomas and Trinity, you two are a bunch of amateurs compared to this guy and his blog. Plus did you know that he is a SUPER GENIUS!!! Amazing!!!

One question though, how come he did not want his photo hot linked, but he had no problem hot linking his own web site? Is it because he gave himself permission? Or because he is a SUPER GENIUS?!?!?

Thomas said...

Truely Amazed, I'm truly amazed that you spelled truly wrong. I bet you meant to do that, just like Fitty Cent (Two-bits if you're Fatboy). Otherwise I really enjoyed your comment and think that whoever you are, you should start writing a blog so that I will have something other to read than Newt's trash! :)

truely amazed said...

You are a wise grasshopper Thomas. Truely (with an 'e') is my trademark. It is because I speak the truth ( <-- look I spelled truth correctly).

And it is trash isn't it.