Saturday, December 19, 2009

TBWCYL Day 352 - 26 cents and I still felt ripped off

I got drunk last night at a happy hour. I admit it. By 8 pm I was belligerently asking the waitress questions that I thought charming and had a great buzz going that lasted for a while. We went to the Flying Saucer to celebrate a friend passing her CPA exam and I got tipsy. We switched bars around 9 and I got mega hungry and decided to ditch the group and go to Chipotle for a burrito (I walked so don't think I drove drunk or anything).

Anyhow, after sobering up and eating a massive burrito I headed home. Diana was in a separate car and had to run an errand before meeting me at the house and by the time she got home I was verging on unconscious. The problem with that was my task, I hadn't forgotten to do it, I just needed her cooperation to get it done.

You see, I was supposed to join the many men who have paid for sex by... well, doing just that. I am not adverse to paying for sex if it is worth the money. In this day and age it almost seems like spending money on dinners and drinks for some ever changing amount of dates before sex takes place is just silly and if someone is willing to trade some tang for some cha-chang (This line strikes me as genius and I am going to get that trademarked) then more power to them.

I wasn't sure I was up for anything last night but thought I would try for the sake of The Book so when I got home, I checked the mail, got ready for bed, and went hunting for some cash to pay my lady of the night. I don't carry cash so I was literally counting change to see what it would get me. I found a quarter and a Canadian penny that for some reason was sitting in my change cup and deposited them on top of Diana's book on her bedside table. Then I slipped under the covers and tried to read...for about 20 seconds.

The next thing I know I am waking up to Diana coming home. In my daze I did hear her ask, "Is this my money to have sex with you?" I grumbled "Yes" and I have a feeling it didn't sound as sexy coming out of my mouth as it did in my head. So, I paid for sex last night and like many nights when I have been drinking, I didn't have any.

I don't know what is worse, the fact that I put money down for sexual favors and didn't get any or the fact that my wife didn't seem upset that I only offered 26 cents.

That is all,

Newt

1 Ripples in the pond:

Simon said...

She’ll get her revenge. You’ll see.