I have recently been bombarded on the web with this website for a company called 'True'. There is always a picture of some really cute girl in a bikini or something like it and it says 'Live, Love, Learn'. It is always the sidebar for my Hotmail account and uses the same couple of girls over and over again.
After viewing this stupid ad for the umpteenth time I just have to ask, "Do dating sites work?" I have only met one person who has used one and she told me that it was awful. She was my neighbor in college and got in the rut of being a divorced thirty year old in Lubbock, Texas. After she told me she had used one, I think it was Match.com, she said all the guys on there were losers or were so far away that it was impossible to see them.
I hate to generalize people who use these sites because I am sure that they hold some value, but I just wonder how far down the dating ladder you are when you use them. I have to imagine that the people on these sites are introverts with very few options left to them. I, being an extrovert, have never had any real trouble meeting a woman so it is hard to put myself in the shoes of someone who logs on to eHarmony or True. To me, it seems like if you have exhausted your available pool of people, maybe it is time for a change in lifestyle.
If you are always sitting at home watching TV, maybe you should turn off the computer and go outside. If you live in a town where men or women aren't readily available, move. If you are the fat guy or girl living in your parents spare room, move out and go on a diet. Maybe this is harsh but its true. I have known so many people, ex. Tim Burleson, who never moved out of the house and got bigger and bigger while simultaneously loosing personal skills. He stayed in a dead end job at Albertsons and is more than likely never going to make anything of himself.
Again, a generalization, but if you are having trouble meeting someone, should you really turn to other people who are having the same trouble or instead go look for the people who are doing fine in that area and try to adapt. Really, if you aren't bringing anything to the table, no one will come to eat.
That is all,
Newt
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
So, How'd you meet?
Posted by Trinity at 10:15 PM
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18 Ripples in the pond:
Wow, Trin. Many things spring to mind right away when I read this, here are a couple.
One: how arrogant do you sound - "I, being an extrovert, have never had any real trouble meeting a woman." I think that might possibly be the most conceeded thing you have ever said and barring a couple of your "ladies" (current included of course), quality should have been a substitute for quantity anyway, ex. Amanda.
Two: Other than the way you put, I do agree for the most part with your points. I think that people should probably try lifestyle changes if things don't seem to be working. But then again, meeting some dude/lady off the internet is really not any different than meeting someone in a bar - they could be just as big of a loser (or winner, possibly) either way, ex. guys who lick girls, and by girls I mean Jen, on the dance floor! :)
This is eHarmony calling, we are refunding your money in full ... no one wants to date you. That is why you can not find a date in the real world and are looking for love on the internet. If you are looking to spend money to find happiness at least go spend it on porn and enjoy the moment!!!
Damn, even websites are reading this blog, not that I can blame them. I wasn't trying to be conceited but if the shoe fits...I still stand by my words though.
Wow, Maybe the girl that is using eHarmony at the moment should not have read that blog. Becuase it sure felt like a slap in the face from a friend. But hey what does a guy that does not have trouble meeting women care. Maybe I should take the advice from wise Trinity and pick up and move to a new city, because that option is avaliable to so many people.
Oh, I loved this part "I hate to generalize people who use these sites because I am sure that they hold some value, but I just wonder how far down the dating ladder you are when you use them." You hate to generalize people? Yet you do. If you hated so much to generalize people you would have stopped right there.
You based your judgement of dating websites off of one persons experience. I happen to have had a good experience. Why did I turn to website? Well it seemed better to me than picking up some loser at a bar, or random guy somewhere. But hey I'm so far down on the dating ladder and apparently need a lifestyle change so bad that what the hell does it matter. Right?
And here you wrote... Again, a generalization, but if you are having trouble meeting someone, should you really turn to other people who are having the same trouble. (there is that generalization again) Maybe it is not having trouble meeting someone, maybe it is trouble meeting the right someone. Not evryone has luck on these sites I feel it depends on the person and what they are looking for. Some people do have luck.
That's it I'm done ranting, I guess I need to really look at what I am bringing to the table. God could you have sounded more like an more arrogant through that whole thing.
Wow. I am apparently a huge douche. A, I do hate to generalize but if I didn't all of my posts would need stuff to back them up and I don't usually have that.
B, When I wrote "I hate to generalize people who use these sites because I am sure that they hold some value, but I just wonder how far down the dating ladder you are when you use them." I wat trying to say the sites have value. Upon reading this, it kind of sounds like I am saying the person has value which is not what I was trying to say.
I am not trying to say that these sites never work. I am saying that from my viwpoint, I could never see it working on a large scale. And yes, I did base these sites success off of one persons experience but thats because it is all I had to go on.
And furthermore, I am arrogant! Anyone who has met me, talked to me, read things I have written, or listened to me talk should know this. I am not ashamed of it.
Oh, and one last thing. Anyone can change if they want to. If you don't like what you do, you can get a new job. If you don't like where you live, you can move. I am not saying that doing these things is always easy, but What is easy isn't always right, and what is right isn't always what is easy.
I try, and I emphasize the try, to live my life where I get the most out of it. If I am not pleased with the way something is going, I do my best to change it. I am not saying that everything can be done but if I know that I am in a rut, I force myself out of it. I know I am not always going to get everything I want out of life but I damn sure try to get as much as I can.
It's smack-down time... and of course I want to be in the middle of it!
Trin, the shoe fits, it's a size 11 (11=conceeded). On that note, Nat you should know that he is this way... you did live with him. Maybe you do know, but like me just want to remind him... it's one of my favorite past times :). And way to stick to your guns on staying arrogant and being proud of it, Trin!
Buddy, if you want to generalize, have at it kid! This isn't an academic exercise so there is no need to back up your point. But don't veil your generalizations with the phrase "I don't mean to generalize." That is just like people who say, "I don't mean to offend you, but [insert offensive statement here]". But then again, it's youur blog, use it how you want to... free speech man!
Also, don't backstep and try to legitimate your points. A good example, "I'm sure these sites have some value..." - you know you wrote that sentence meaning that if they had a value, it was very minimal. You were not trying to say that they have value; if you felt that way, you wouldn't have posted this blog. If you aren't going to apologize for being arrogant then there is no need to explain yourself for the post and what you said. Let's hope the next post is a little less pointed and fun-loving... what happened to the days of the similarities of eating an orange and sex... tear....
and he said and she said and what i ment to say was what she wanted to say to him who said what she said to say....you know
I was only correcting my post, not trying to validate what it said. I just wanted to make sure that what you read was what I meant. I am sure fruit sex can be posted about at anytime.
As "single....and fun!" girl, I feel obligated to say something. And here you have it...sometimes being single is absolutely great. And sometimes it leaves you feeling a little alone and blue.
But you know what? You have to be happy with the life you have. That doesn't mean things can't change, but you have to make the best of every situation. If you want to bring about change in your life, why not do it through the internet? To me, that's a similar option to changing jobs or moving or cutting your hair or joining a gym. It's just another outlet for change and opportunity. Perhaps not as traditional or expected as those other changes (and you, Trin, are not exactly Mr. Traditional or Mr. Status Quo or any of those things, so I expect some understanding here), but maybe just as effective.
It's great being happy! I highly recommend it.
Erin, you have shamed me. I never really thought of it as a non-traditional way to meet people. You are right, tradiion is thrown out my window and I should be embracing this internet dating thing. Huh, new perspectives. I still think the same way, but at least I can see why you would think I would be for it. I just have the traditional feeling that its better to meet people in person.
I echo your sentiments on meeting face to face, but I'm glad I could shed some additional light on the situation and present another point of view. Freedom of expression rocks! Viva America!
I would like to make it known that I wouldn't meet anyone over the internet because there is no way for me to know if they smack their food, or slurp their soup, or crunch their ice, or wiggle their fingers. Those are my major pet peeves and I just can't associate with people who do those things. Except, of course, you Trinity; I just have to constantly nag you to stop. :)
Ok, after sleeping on it last night I felt bad about some of the stuff I said. Then you called yourself a douche, and I could not disagree with that...kidding. Bottom line is that Thomas is right I should know that you are arrogant and be used to. I may hate some of the stuff you say but atleast you say it. I don't agree that a person should have to change thier lifestyle to meet someone. Maybe it could change after they meet someone. I want to thank Erin for what she said and for opening Trinity's eyes to non traditional ways of meeting people.
The problem with waiting to change until you meet someone is the meeting part. If you need to make a change, why wait until someone comes along? The point is to be proactive.
I don't agree with the wait and see approach. The point is that if someone’s lifestyle needs a change, they shouldn't wait until someone else is involved but instead grab life by the balls and squeeze until you're a falsetto.
I never thought that I would say this in a million years, but I actually agree with Trinity on this one. You have to take action in order to get a reaction, and sitting at home on the computer checking to see who some website says that you're "compatiable" with isnt very active. Join a gym, or a book club, or a church, or go out to a bar, or to a movie, or at school. The point is to get yourself out there and get noticed. You never know, you may find the person of your dreams in line at the 7-11 while you are putting gas in your car, because you never know who is out there and where you will find them. You are not going to find someone else to love you until you love yourself. And if you loved yourself then you would not need the internet to find you a mate. Make changes to yourself, whether it is dropping some weight, or moving to a new town, or moving out of your parents spare bedroom, or quiting a dead-end job, or going back to school ... and when you are happy with yourself on the inside, then and only then will you find happiness on the outside.
maybe cosmo needs to stick to sex tips and makeup. and stay out of people's love lifes. Who is "Cosmo" any way?
I would just like to say that I am not Cosmo Magazine. I agree with what they are saying but I am not the one who said it.
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