Friday, May 07, 2010

People who should be real

I was eating a pack of Chewy Sprees today and a great sadness swept over my body. I realized that Willy Wonka isn't real and then it occurred to me, "I sure wish he was." Why hasn't someone become Willy Wonka? I mean, how hard would it be?

Buy an abandoned factory and convert it to a candy land, hire some midgets to dress up as Oompa Lonpas, and invest heavily in purple suede suits. Then you can just live out your days floating along a chocolate river and drinking dew from edible cups of sugar.

Someone has to have the money to do this. Rich people spend their money on stupid stuff all the time. I just want to walk through those awesome iron gates and have a apparently crippled man walk out so I can watch him take a tumble and then welcome me to his home. Is that too much to ask?

That is all,

Newt

3 Ripples in the pond:

Carrie said...

I agree. This has to happen.

Or, at the very least, there should be a Wonka theme park with an all you can eat candy buffet.

Girl Interrupted said...

I think you'd make an excellent Willy Wonka ... you should get to work on that straight away.

You have plenty of dental care cover, right?

Lola Lakely said...

If someone has to do this, can't it be you? I would help. I could become an investor.

At least for the chocolate river.

I've missed you Trinity. I hope all is well!