Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Terrifying case of the Gnome-Goblin

Last night Diana and I stumbled across a terrifying scene. I went to turn my bed lamp on and it wouldn't light. I checked the plug and the power before realizing that the light bulb had been almost completely unscrewed from the socket. I knew it could only be one culprit...The Gnome-Goblin.

I told my lady that we had been hit by this nefarious imp. Lo and behold, Diana didn't know of the Gnome-Goblin. Thus I had to tell her it's story.

For those of you who don't know, a Gnome-Goblin is a magical creature of mischief. A byproduct of a gnome and a goblin, these creatures mixed the goodness of a gnome with the evil of a goblin and created a problem creature. While not evil, Gnome-Goblins are always causing trouble. Their favorite prank...unscrewing light bulbs.

Diana was surprised to hear of this creature. Her main concern was preventing the problem from happening again. Naturally, I told her how the easiest way to stop a Gnome-Goblin was to sprinkle lemon juice all around the house. She didn't seem to understand why this would deter the felon from attacking again.

You see, Gnome-Goblins are vain. They have very delicate teeth with extremely sensitive enamel. If lemon juice gets on their teeth, the enamel rots off and their teeth fall out instantly. This leaves them scared for life and they are wary of anything with a high acidic level. Thus, lemon juice scares the daylights out of them.

My wife then asked if we could just spray lemon Pledge in which I could only reply, "Diana, now you are just being ridiculous."

That is all,

Newt

1 Ripples in the pond:

Anonymous said...

what the f*ck ...