Tuesday, October 03, 2006


So, this afternoon I walked outside with the dogs and a fairly attractive woman in a bikini was walking past the door. I don't think she noticed me but as soon as I turned and walked the other direction my mind began to wander.

Now for those of you reading this, my post will not be erotic. I know, you're saying to yourself "Dammit, I really wanted Newt to describe some pornographic sexual deviation to me" and to that I say "call me". But alas, my daydream was not so graphic. Here is what my mind created after seeing the pretty lady.

After walking away from the bikini clad woman I hear her turn and look at me. Immediately she is attracted to me. Who wouldn't be? Me in a pair of khaki dress pants and a orange polo and my babe magnets hooked to their leashes. She runs(in slow motion) towards me and says "You are so hot. I want you right now."

I look at the bikini clad vixen and say "I appreciate that but I am engaged and I don't believe my fiancee' would go for that." I can tell that this woman had been around, as me being betrothed doesn't seem to be a stumbling block for her. "If you don't tell, I won't", she replied.

Again, I am flustered but keep my cool. "No, you are very pretty but, as I said, I am engaged." I try to say goodbye and begin walking the dogs when she grabs me and attempts to kiss me. I fight her off, which is not easy as she has sun tan lotion all over her, and Duncan, Hazel and I leave frantically.

When we get back to the door, she is there. Trying to get me to let her into the apartment. "Just this once" and "Don't you want to have one last fling before you get married?" come out of her mouth. "No", I shout and squeeze through the door.

The point of this blog is that I am whipped. Any other person would probably have fantasized about having sex with said bikini woman, yet I instead fight her off in my own head. Even as I was changing out of my work gear, I made up how she busts into the house and catches me changing and I force her out of the room.

Thinking back to past girlfriends, I remember times when I would wake up from sex dreams before anything started to happen. Why? Because I felt guilty about cheating on my girlfriend with a dream woman. Now that's commitment.

That is all,


3 Ripples in the pond:

Thomas said...

I'm not sure that you are my best friend... what have you done with him?!?!?! And you are definitely not your father's son... he will be ashamed when he reads this...

Trinity said...

I know. It is a sad day that I can't get going in a dream.

Erin said...

I'm actually quite proud of the subconscious you....you restore my faith in the faithfulness of men. Maybe not completely restore it, but it helps.

Oh, I figured I should make a comment that sounds as though it comes from a single gal, due to my descriptor and all.