Monday, November 15, 2010

Did I shave my chest for this?

I may have made a grave error in judgement.

I was laying in bed last night while Diana was feeding the baby and decided that today was the day that I was going to shave my chest. Why? Hell if I know. I just did. I haven't looked down to see a hairless chest since before puberty and whenever I hold Gracie she has a tendency to grab fist fulls of my luscious sweater and pull on them. So I thought, "Why not?"

It took about 15 minutes in all and I was very surprised to see how incredibly pale I am. I am used to seeing dark hair all over so to look in the mirror and see a nice yellowish pink is shocking. I didn't tell Diana what I did and waited until she was getting ready for bed and walked in. She looked at me and instantly did a double take and exclaimed, "You are so pale."

I sit here today with regret as I feel the gristly sensation of my shirt rubbing against my stubble. I didn't use a razor to shave, just my beard trimmer, so it isn't smooth at all. I am afraid to hold Grace without a shirt on for fear she will either latch to my man-boob or get razor burn from my skin. I was going to post a picture of what I now look like but it might be looked at as pornographic since I resemble a naked fat chick from the waist up.

Also, there were apparently some stretch marks that I was unaware of that the hair has been hiding and I don't want those out there for the world to see.

That is all,

Newt

4 Ripples in the pond:

Crazy Newt said...

foolish, hairless newt
learn from that Seinfeld episode!
...I laugh in haiku

Sweet-Britches said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Girl Interrupted said...

Hello there! I'm doing a drive-by on Blogger and couldn't leave without seeing how you're doing. Glad to see fatherhood hasn't made a wise, old sage of you yet ... shaving your chest!! :|

I hope you, Diana and Grace are all doing well ... and thank you to Diana and yourself for the little thank you card you sent, it was very sweet :)

I'll be in touch before Christmas with the seasonal wishes etc.

Take care, old chum x

Sassy Sassy said...

A good wax job can prevent that razor burn concern of yours. Hehe... :o)