Monday, November 15, 2010

Did I shave my chest for this?

I may have made a grave error in judgement.

I was laying in bed last night while Diana was feeding the baby and decided that today was the day that I was going to shave my chest. Why? Hell if I know. I just did. I haven't looked down to see a hairless chest since before puberty and whenever I hold Gracie she has a tendency to grab fist fulls of my luscious sweater and pull on them. So I thought, "Why not?"

It took about 15 minutes in all and I was very surprised to see how incredibly pale I am. I am used to seeing dark hair all over so to look in the mirror and see a nice yellowish pink is shocking. I didn't tell Diana what I did and waited until she was getting ready for bed and walked in. She looked at me and instantly did a double take and exclaimed, "You are so pale."

I sit here today with regret as I feel the gristly sensation of my shirt rubbing against my stubble. I didn't use a razor to shave, just my beard trimmer, so it isn't smooth at all. I am afraid to hold Grace without a shirt on for fear she will either latch to my man-boob or get razor burn from my skin. I was going to post a picture of what I now look like but it might be looked at as pornographic since I resemble a naked fat chick from the waist up.

Also, there were apparently some stretch marks that I was unaware of that the hair has been hiding and I don't want those out there for the world to see.

That is all,

Newt

4 Ripples in the pond:

Crazy Newt said...

foolish, hairless newt
learn from that Seinfeld episode!
...I laugh in haiku

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Girl Interrupted said...

Hello there! I'm doing a drive-by on Blogger and couldn't leave without seeing how you're doing. Glad to see fatherhood hasn't made a wise, old sage of you yet ... shaving your chest!! :|

I hope you, Diana and Grace are all doing well ... and thank you to Diana and yourself for the little thank you card you sent, it was very sweet :)

I'll be in touch before Christmas with the seasonal wishes etc.

Take care, old chum x

Anonymous said...

A good wax job can prevent that razor burn concern of yours. Hehe... :o)