Monday, June 28, 2010

I'm Tired

I'm tired. Not sleepy or aggravated. Just tired, of everything. I am bored with blogging, I haven't really enjoyed anything as much as I feel I use to. My life seems better than ever and there are times where I just feel like I embody Blah!

I don't feel creative anymore. I remember a long while ago I was quick on my feet with things. I would say that I still am but maybe it isn't as honed as it use to be. I want to make something but I don't know how to.

The baby is coming and I feel like the next three months will be the last part of my life where I will be able to just go do something stupid and not have to worry about the consequences. I joined a volleyball league for the summer partly because I could.

I went to the doctor a few days ago for a check up and he told me I had to loose 40 lbs. Shit! that is a lot of weight. And I have zero motivation to do it, which doesn't help. But I am officially watching what I eat. The first day I got a headache and I think it was because I was so focused on not being able to have a cookie that I caused myself to become peeved. How sad is it that I can give myself a headache because I want a cookie?

I am starting to feel old. I think that might be a part of my funk. That and George Clinton. We were on vacation this weekend and I didn't get drunk. I drank a little but I honestly didn't feel like drinking. And when 10 o'clock rolled around I was happy to forgo the band we were listening to at the bar and instead go home and finish reading my book.

I wish there was a shot you could take that would rid you of malaise. I found an over the counter narcotic that would give temporary relief but like I said, I can't have cookies anymore.

That is all,


7 Ripples in the pond:

King of New York Hacks said...

we all run into those blah moments...they are only temporary, and you were creative enough to write it thats a good I know cookies are narcotics...will not eat while driving anymore ! LOL ;-)

Girl Interrupted said...

Aw, I'm sorry you're feeling in a bit of a funk at the moment. Maybe it's just your pysche's way of adjusting to approaching fatherhood? It's such a huge deal and your life IS going to change dramatically and it surely can't happen overnight. I bet a lot of dads-to-be go through something similar.

So what if all you want to do is read a book? I would rather curl up with a good book than do most other things. You know you're right where you should be, that's the main thing, just go with the flow, even if it's a bit sluggish at times, give yourself time to adjust in your own way.

Addy's Daddy said...

It seems like one of your problems might right itself. I bet a lot of your weight gain over the past couple of years came from drinking, so if you aren't feeling that drive any longer and don't drink as much beer, you probably will lose some weight.

And anyway, your days of getting drunk just because it is the weekend or you are on vacation are probably coming to a close (or should be) soon. You will need to be at least a bit with it to take care of little Peanut in the middle of the night, so passing out from alcohol is probably not the way to go there. And really, what is the point of getting drunk anyway?

Your freedom to do something stupid without consequences is fading fast and I will definitley admit that I did and still have feelings of losing freedom because of fatherhood. I don't get to read, veg out or go to the movies or concerts near as much as I would like and sometimes that weighs on me. But overall, the benefits that I get by having Addison far outweigh the loss of freedoms.

You are great with kids since you are an overgrown one anyway, and you will be a great dad. I know because you are already a great uncle and Addison loves being with you. I think all of the fun you will have playing with Peanut and watching him/her grow and develop will wash over the malaise that you feel now.

Walk it off, friend, and get ready for some Jump N' Jungle in August!!

Trinity said...

King: be safe and if you drop the cookie, wait until the stoplight to pick it up. I won't tell that you still ate it.

Kate: nothing wrong with reading books, just shouldn't be doing it instead of being out and experiencing Austin Texas.

Thomas: No, my weight gain has nothing to do with alcohol and everything to do with diet. And the point I have to getting drunk involves stupidity, euphoria, and usually an awesome nights sleep. I know what I am getting myself into and none of that worries me. I think my malaise has nothing to do with the baby and more to do with my day to day life. Maybe loosing weight will make me feel better and thus some of my issues will cease.

Soda and Candy said...

Well obviously your motivation is going to come from the young Peanut, you will want to be around and able to be an involved and active dad. Bright side? Probably once the Peanut becomes mobile you won't have to think of ways to lose weight because you'll be chasing him/her around all the time!
; )

Erin said...

Oh, Trinity, I know what you mean with blah moments. Call me more and I'll say stupid things and make you feel more intelligent and special.

Do you need a new project? Maybe away from the blog? I realize that embarking on the Peanut adventure is project enough, but maybe you should get that birdhouse business running again.

Erin said...

Oh, and buy the equivalent of a motivational dress - nothing drives a girl to lose weight like the need to fit into a sexy dress. Only you should never, ever put on a sexy dress. Maybe some sexy pants or something? Yipes.