Sunday, November 30, 2008

For a good time call...

I have a confession to make. Whenever I stop to go to the bathroom anywhere that isn't a place I know, i.e. my home or that of someone I know, I always check for writing. Stall doors and the wall above a urinal are the best places to find a multitude of interesting quips. Here are a few that I continuously see.

First, the word "Penis". I have actually considered taking a camera with me and photographing this word whenever I see it and making it a coffee table book. Be it carved into a stall door or scribbled on the grout between the tile it is prevalent everywhere in America. For some reason, guys just love writing this word. I am unsure if this is a weird phallic obsession or maybe it is gender based. Do women write "Vagina" on the metal of the toilet paper roll holder?

U R Gay! Why do people write this? First, it is lazy that you can't spell out all of the words and B, why are you gay? Just because I had to drop a duece in the JC Penney stall does not automatically mean I like the weiner. And I think that whoever wrote this may have some unresolved issues they need to work out.

"For good head call 'insert name and number here'" Has anyone actually called one of these numbers? I imagine that going something like this...
Ring, Ring
"Hey, yeah my name is Robbie and I am in the second stall at the Texaco out on Route 4. I am looking for Tammy."
"This is Tammy, how did you get this number?"
"Well, it says here that you give a great BJ and I was wondering if you could fit me in."
"Oh, this was my write up on the stall door. Yes, I have been getting a lot of hits from that. Let me get my appointment book and I can see what I have open."

This is the most F-ing retarded thing to do. Clearly you have to be mental to call the number to begin with and I would imagine that no one is going to just let you come on over to verify the recommendation. Also, if they were that good, would you really let that secret out or just keep it for yourself? Most likely this is false advertising.

I love the phenomenon of toilet stall graffiti. It is always random and many times entertaining. I will leave you with one I saw today on the way home from Mississippi.

A scholarly gentleman had carved "Faggat" into the urinal wall. Above that, someone used a sharpie to proclaim "Learn to Spell" with an arrow aiming at the word.

That is all,


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