Tuesday, August 05, 2008

What Would Jesus Read

I was reading Fight Club today on my throne when I had a stunning hypothetical that I want to know feedback on. This springs from a foray into the Gigantic Half Price Books store in Dallas.

Lets just say God comes down and says, "I feel that I screwed up a little by giving you guys so much free will. So, I have decided to put limits on the human race. I am going to have to grandfather everyone in on this rule so to be a kind God, I am going to let you choose 5 authors and you will only be able to read the books that they have written for all eternity. If they write something new, you can read it but otherwise you are stuck with the choices you make." What would you do?

I would say, "God, that is a right perplexing problem but I think I can do that. My Five choices are:(in no particular order)

Ray Bradbury because his catalog is extensive and he covers multiple genre. His Sci-Fi is great, his prose is intelligent and his madcap style is hilarious.

Chuck Palaniuk because he never writes the same thing twice, he is consistently creative and he has a twisted mind that breathes fresh air into his stories.

Kurt Vonnegut because he saw the world with eyes that I wish I could have glimpsed out of and he pushes points with humor that most people can't get across with facts.

Neil Gaiman because he writes with a bit of sophistication but not with too much seriousness.

And finally, I guess I would have to finish the list with

J.R.R. Tolkien because if I am to be limited to 5 authors, let one of them be so creative as to have written a world, not just a story.

Then I would tell God how nice it was to make his acquaintance and go take all of my other books to the designated spot for relocation.

So, put yourself in front of God and ask yourself, What Would Jesus Read.

That is all,

Newt

5 Ripples in the pond:

Addy's Daddy said...

First off, I don't think Jesus would be so into Palaniuk - some of his writing is just too gruesome!

It was hard to come up with five and only five, especially since most of my favorite authors are dead, but a living author could provide me with more stories. I limited my list to only fiction writers, though some of them also wrote non-fiction as well. If non-fiction was included, I would have to include philosophy writers as well and I don't think we want to go down that road. My five are:

John Steinbeck - He is a great example of a truly American author. His prose is easy to read and organic, but includes serious and emotional topics with a real-life esthetic. “East of Eden” is my favorite book of all time and the man has a flying pig as his symbol!! Come on!

J. R. R. Tolkein – Ditto to Vaughn. Though his writing is pigeon-holed into a very small collection, his imagination and vision knew no bounds and forces those who read his work to push their imaginations further.

William Shakespeare – Stereotypical, I know and an author that I don’t own one book from, but none can deny his place as one of, if not the, greatest playwright ever. He has a massive amount of work to read from – comedies, tragedies, and poetry – and his work swirls around the basics of the human condition.

George Orwell – I had a tough time between him and Hemmingway for this list, but I feel Orwell is much more approachable. His work all centers around being wary of the establishment and promotes thinking for yourself, something I think all people should put more effort towards.

As you can see, all of them are dead and don’t give me any options for new additions, so lastly I will choose a live author. I wanted someone who wrote with humor, but none compare to the legacy of:

J. K. Rowling – As with Tolkein, her work only involves one focus, but anyone who could imagine the world of Harry Potter is capable of producing anything. She is one of the most important authors of the later 20th and early 21st centuries, if not only because she is the only author that I know of whose new book creates a feeding frenzy where adults and children alike will camp outside their local bookshop like they are waiting for Beatles concert tickets!

Trinity said...

I had a tough time with not having Rowling or Frank L.Baum. But, I figure that I could live without Harry Potter due to her not having written anything outside that universe to prove itself and Baum is great but to childlike.

Anonymous said...

twain

faulkner

dickens

poe

and

dr. suess

Addy's Daddy said...

And I thought my selections had a lot of depression....

erin said...

This post is still stressing me out. I just can't make up my mind. Why must I be so indecisive?!?