I'm Excelling

Well, I had an interesting Friday. By the way, the definition of interesting has changed to...

def: slow, time consuming, and causing a person to want to stab their eyes out and stick them in their ears.

So, "interesting" day, I spent the majority of my Friday sitting in a Microsoft Excel training class to better understand the functions of Excel 2007. It was lead by an "interesting" man who was very knowledgeable in the ways of Excel.

This just in, the word knowledgeable's definition has been updated for 2008.

def: fat idiot who doesn't know what the hell he is talking about and has to have the class help him do his job by doing exercises that aren't correct and making me help figure out what he is doing wrong. - Noun.

I was in class from 9 to 3:15 with an hour and fifteen minute lunch and a 2:45 cookie break. Somehow I am not sure my company spent their money wisely on this purchase. Some of the more interesting tidbits from the training.

1. The girl next to me offered me a Banana Nut muffin. I refused but the gesture was nice and we heckled the teacher quietly.
2. I was able to eat at Freebird's for lunch.
3. Leaving early is nice.
4. Did I mention cookie time?

I pretty much wasted my day yesterday and got maybe 5 pieces of information I will use. The teacher was a man of girth whose back jeans pockets only see each other when they are folded in a drawer because they are facing different hemispheres when they are worn and he waddled. Who waddles anymore? That is so last year.

So if anyone needs to know something about Excel, give my teacher a call and then he will call me and we can get you an answer on that.

That is all,

Newt