Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Misadventures of Duncan and Hazel - Bone Wild

After Christmas I bought one of those gigantic rawhide bones that I found on sale and waited until I needed a good laugh. Below is my idea of what happened.

Duncan: Hazel, I think I must be dreaming. Either my overweight little body has caused a heart attack or my fantasy has just become reality.
Hazel: Well if you're dreaming, I hope you don't wake up. If I am not mistaken, Dad just brought in a bone that is bigger than you.
D: Is that even possible? Can we really eat our weight in rawhide?
H: Hellz yes!!! I am going to munch on that baby like a Ankylosaurus on a field of grass.
D: I am not really sure what that means.
H: Sorry, there was a special on Discovery last night and Pops left the TV on.
D: You really need to get out more. Use the dog door once in a while. You are going stir crazy and I don't know how many times I have to tell you, Stop talking like you are from the street.
H: I did time. These people sprung me from the joint but I was living in Cell block C until Pops paid my bail.
D: That was an adoption you idiot. And you were in the shelter.
H: Quit trying to distract me. Here comes that bone.
D: My mouth is watering.
H: Well don't be getting any ideas, that shit is mine.
D: I am pretty sure we are supposed to share that.
H: That's what you think. It's mine!!!

The bone lasted three days and Hazel ate 85% of it. I wasn't sure she had it in her. And yes, I am aware that my voice sounds like a country bumpkin.

That is all,


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