Monday, August 21, 2006

Dang, I hate that...

You know what's annoying? Touching your own butthole. Now, I'm sure your thinking "What the hell is that supposed to mean"? I came to this topic yesterday.

I was sitting on the shitter and had just finished folding my tp all dainty like (which is the only way to fold toilet paper) and was ready to go wipe when I guess I misjudged the distance. The next thing I know, my finger hit my poop shoot. I thought "Crap", literally. This is something that really bugs me.

It's not that its really that big a deal. I was going to wash my hands anyway, but when you expect to feel the soft plushyness of a Charmin and instead get the index, well, that is just not pleasing. Not to mention that if you aren't paying attention when you stand up, you just may use that finger to push down the flusher.

I think that this is one of those things that goes untalked about. Actually, we should discuss this issue and try to be more proactive in the Finger/Sphinxter phenomenon. In our modern day society we should have come up with a solution.

The toilet paper hand wrap was always a safe practice, but you are really wasting a lot of paper in doing that. There is also the disposable glove, but the practicality of that is questionable. The Angel Soft people should really be working on a solution to this epidemic that is swiping the nation. Yes, I did mean swiping.

That is all,

Newt

4 Ripples in the pond:

Thomas said...

Sphinxter? You were wiping the sphincter of a Sphinx? I thought those things were fake!??!

Also, do you do this a lot? I don't think that I have had this problem more than, say, twice. Perhaps you should pay a little more attention to your wiping and if you would wipe by doing the "reach around" instead of threw the front, you could limit your chances of almost stink-palming yourself! Wow... that is gross....

nat said...

Wow, Both of you are sharing a little too much on this problem. Trin can you think of a way to put a warning on blogs like this, because I really don't think it is one i needed to read about.

erin said...

You disgust me. Some things are just better left unsaid.

Newt The Wonder Frog said...

I am getting some negative feedback on this. This just proves that women do not like the thought of anything near their booty hole