Monday, October 20, 2008

Pop a Squat

I just walked in the bathroom and the familiar smell of burnt pumpkin hit my nose. This means my lovely wife took a quick respite and expelled a little waste. The odd thing is, I didn't notice that she had gone and it got me wondering, "How does Diana poop so fast?"

I just don't understand it. I have considered bringing Scully and Mulder in on this because it is a phenomenon that I can't explain. I can literally be in the living room and by the time I go to the kitchen and get a glass of water, Diana has gone. The only way I find out about it is if I have to pee.

I asked her today how she goes so quickly and her response was, "I only had one turd in me." What is she doing that her body only makes one little piece of poo? How is that possible? It's like a chicken laying an egg, one drop and you're done. It's weird. I am going to call Ripley's Believe it or Not and find out if this is something that they have covered before. Maybe it is next to that lady with the 50 golden rings around her neck and the bible printed on a postage stamp.

That is all, no really, that was all. "one turd."


4 Ripples in the pond:

Addy's Daddy said...

Have you considered that you might be the weird one? Most people don't spend fifteen minutes in there every time like you do.

Also, Diana probably eats a bit healthier than you, so her system is probably absorbing more and thus she has less waste. I would expect that Whataburger doesn't have a lot of things the body totall consumes....

Trinity said...

Well, that is where you would be mistaken. Whataburger only offer 100% beef patties. Their cheese contains calcium, and potatoes(even fried) are a fundamental carbohydrate. And aside from the occational eating out, Diana and I consume almost the same lunches and dinners in almost the same quantities.

Suck it.

Addy's Daddy said...

I find the quantities comment questionable. Whataburger is fast/processed food and has many things for you that are not used by your body (grease being only one).

Suck It!

Anonymous said...

trinity can you spell D-I-V-O-R-C-E?