What a Dick!

More on the night that was ‘Wii night’

To my right was this 17 year old who was a huge Dick. Not only would he not stop saying Wii, "I can't wait to go home and play with my Wii', "If I didn't get a Wii, I would die", and my favorite "I wonder if they will make a miniature version called the Wee Wii', but he was stupid. Who comes to a Wal-mart in November to sit outside in just jeans and a jacket?

He just kept saying how excited he was. He even brought a laptop and was playing ‘Legend of Zelda: a Link to the Past’. At points in time, you could really tell that this kid was a Dick. Here are some examples.

A) He received a phone call that his friend’s dad had just gone into full renal failure. When he got off the phone he asked me if I knew what that entailed and I told him that I believed it was when a person’s body shut down before they died. He proceeded to say “That sucks, that might be something I have to get out of line for.” What? Seriously? Later, he had some friends come visit him in line and told them. Then he said he would just take his new Wii to the kid with the dead dad’s house so it would cheer him up a little. As if you would say “Well, my dad just died but I sure could go for some Wii Golf.”

B) The guy’s grandfather came up to Wal-Mart to go buy him something to eat. As soon as the old man dropped the two cheeseburgers on the ground next to him and the kid didn’t say thank you or even look up from his computer. The old man just walked off and the kid didn’t even care.

C) The last thing that irked me about this kid was that he is 17, lives at home with his parents, and is cocky. I don’t remember what I was talking about but I heard him say something about how expensive his cell phone was. I asked him how much it cost and he said he paid $90 for three people. I said “You pay for three people?” and he said “Me and my parents.” I was surprised and asked “You pay for your parents” and he told me “Well, no. They pay for me.”

By the end of the night, I actually called him a huge Dick to his face. He thought I was joking but I wasn’t. He got a call from his friend who’s dad is dying telling him that he couldn’t stay over because his dad was in the hospital and his mom wanted him to be able to just leave. The Dick got pissy about it and started saying, “Well wouldn’t his mom want someone there who has a car? Then he started complaining about how his parents would get mad if he came home because he had said he was staying over at the guy’s house. I looked at him and asked if it was the kid with the dying dad and when he said yes I just looked at him and said “You are a huge Dick!”

You never know who you will meet in line for a Nintendo but I can tell you that some of them aren’t that special.

That is all,
Newt

Wii the People

I have been lax in my posts. On Saturday, at 4 o'clock, I started my sit in to get the Nintendo Wii. I took one of those lawn chairs with a food rest, a granola bar, and some reading material and got in line behind 15 other great Americans who were eagerly awaiting the release at 12:01 of the coolest gaming system ever.

Around 6, my lovely bride to be brought me a sandwich and my computer so I could watch 'Cars' and have something to occupy the next six hours. Surprisingly, she wasn't eager to sit out there with me. The one thing she forgot to bring was the blanket I had asked for, and as it was around 55 degrees and no sun was out, it was sorely missed. She did give me the picnic blanket we had so I couldn't complain to loudly.

Let me just say, that if you stand in line with 20 other people, you get to know the people to your left and right. That is not always a good thing. I have loads to talk about with this guy but I will continue that in another blog.

At 11:50, the voucher guy finally showed up and made a stupid comment about how he had some vouchers for sale and then said he would just throw them in the air and whoever got one could go in. Finally, he handed out our vouchers and 20 minutes later I own a Wii.

I was cold, tired, and extremely excited.

That is all,

Newt

I saw a Jap flip an egg

No, I'm not Michael Richards. I went to eat this afternoon at a Japanese restaurant where they prepared the food to order right in front of you. I went with a large group so we had an entire table/stove to ourselves.

I was in awe when the chef came out. He started by throwing rice on the stove and then took an egg and spun it. He was able to take a spatula and flip the egg in the air, sort of like a soccer player with a ball. Then he used the spatula to crack that puppy onto the stove.

He also made me some tasty shrimp and some Angus beef that was delicious. The finale was called a volcano. He took an onion and stacked it like a mountain and poured liquids into it and then as they began to react he lit it on fire. Flames were shooting out of this onion and didn't stop. He just held a lighter there and flames kept shooting out. It was crazy.

I don't know that this is really an interesting event but I know I was impressed. Then again, I get distracted by shiny objects so that doesn't say much about me.

That is all,

Newt

You went to see The WHO???

Thats right folks, Diana and I rocked out oldie style on Friday night and went and saw The Who. That legendary rock band that gave us such hits as 'Pinball Wizard', 'Who are you', and 'My Generation', and it was awesome. The Pretenders opened up for them and they were just so-so but The Who rocked the house.

For a band that only has two of its original members, they were on. Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend are old but they jump around on stage and can still play like they are in their twenties. When they played 'My Generation' it blew me away. They played for two hours and really knew how to throw a concert.

There were 5 screens suspended above the stage and as the songs changed, the screens would alternate images that went along with the songs. During 'My Generation' the largest screen had images of different races and moments in history that cycled throughout.

Some funny stuff...we saw one woman that, as the Who were about to finish up, she was reaching her hands out and crying. There was no reason really, she just couldn't contain herself. We also say a woman that got so into the music she was thrusting her hand out and singing when no one else was.

All and all, an awesome concert and I can now say that I have seen The Who in concert.

That is all,

Newt

Pay it Forward

Yesterday, I was driving in a neighborhood that is not the most upscale when I stopped at a red light. I was on my cell phone with the blood bank, they were begging for a pint, when I hear a man screaming at me.

I look to my right and asked the lady to hold on a minute. I cracked the passenger window and he yelled, "Hey man, can me and my wife jump in the back of your truck? We need a ride to Northwest HWY." As I was going that way, I said "Sure".

Now I know what you’re thinking. Newt, how stupid can you be? You don't let strangers ride in your truck. Well, I agree and that same thought occurred to me after they had already jumped in.

The guy was probably 40 with a shaved head that held a couple of day’s growth, as did his face. His wife, however, took the cake. She wore pink spandex pants and a tiger striped coat. She had bleach blond hair and looked like she was coming off a two day binge.

The ride went just fine, other than I looked in my rearview one time and saw them kiss which was disturbing. I got them to the street and pulled off the road to let them off. They yelled "Thanks Man" and the woman said, "Have a blessed day. Thanks for paying it forward."

Am I strange in thinking that the fact that she said "paying it forward" is the weirdest part of this story?

That is all,

Newt

Worn Out, Tired and Busted

Well Howdy. What a weekend. Thomas came down and we had a hella weekend that will be remembered until our dying days. Let me give you a definition:

def. Nirvana - a state of being caused by Rocking Hard, getting your inner nerd on, and drinking on someone else's dime.

And that is what I achieved this weekend. By Sunday, I had obtained from Wizard World Texas 2006.

1. An assload of signed comics by the likes of Ed Brubaker, Steve Epting, George Perez, and J. Scott Cambell
2. A copy of The Watchmen as well as a Black Cat mini series that I have been looking for.
3. a Thing Mini Bust that rocks(pun intended).
4. an original comic book page signed by the tracer, I mean Inker.
5. Three copies of Ultimate Alliance in which I sold one and gave one to Tommy Boy.
6. Tons of original sketches, which I plan to post on.

All that for about $200,

I had an awesome time and it really makes me miss not being around Thomas more(hint hint Jackie, move to Dallas). I can't wait until next year and maybe this can start being a yearly event. Who knows.

The other two people involved in this weekend have touched upon most of the things that happened over the last couple of days so I will leave the details to them.

That is all,

Newt

Bowling On a Wednesday

Well last night was the kick off party to start our Bowling league at work. I have been trying to get a Wednesday league together and the bowling alley we are having it at let us have free bowling night to try to generate interest.

It didn't work. I only had 20 or so people say that they were even coming and when 7 o'clock rolled around, it was only about 10. This thing has become a losing battle. I try and try but no one seems to care. People keep dropping out of the league and while I hoped to have about 4 teams, I ended up with maybe two.

But I am still hopeful. I bought my own bowling shoes last week and I plan on showing up next Wednesday for week 1 of our tournament. At the end of it, we will all get a free Bowling ball.

That is all,

Newt

PS, starting tomorrow Thomas and I will have up to the minute(or more likely day) coverage of Wizard World Texas 2006

To the Love of My Life

Recently, there has been an outpouring of Love on the blog-o-sphere and it has made me want to write how much I love Diana.

Diana,

I love you. You are the greatest thing in the world. Along with our two dogs, one of which is newer than the other, we have the greatest life ever. No, we don't have a house yet, but when we do our lives will only be better. I love everything about you...well, not necessarily everything, but the majority of things about you.

Not a day goes by where I don't love you more and more. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I can't say that I am content in our love. Why would you want to be when we can make it grow as time goes on. The love we share is everlasting and awesome.

It's weird to think that we have been shacking up for little over a year. It feels like we have been together for a thousand years, yet it has only been a few(which haven't really felt like that long but kinda were). We have lived together for over a year, not officially starting our lives as husband and wife, but we're close. I will make you an honest woman one day.

Love,

Newt

In conclusion to this sappy post, if you gagged or were in any way disgusted by reading this PDA on your PC, then you get an idea of how we felt when reading Thomas's latest post.

That is all,

Newt

P.S. Diana told me I had to write this

Peanut, Peanut Butter, Jelly

So, last week I went to the grocery store and decided to be adventurous. I bought all natural Peanut Butter. It comes in a glass bottle and the oil from the peanuts is sitting on top of the butter. And, after opening, you have to refrigerate this stuff.

I rushed home and snapped that lid off the jar. MMMMM!!! Peanuts. I got a big knife and began stirring the oil back down into the butter. I don't actually know if this was the correct action to take, but what the hey. The consistency of real PB is not the same as Jif. It is much creamier and not as thick. I bought crunchy so mine came with extra chopped nuts.

I smeared a big ole glob of it onto a couple of slices of wheat bread and dived in. What? It tastes bitter and grainy you say? That's right. I am an idiot because for some reason I thought that if you took real peanuts and smashed them into a paste that it would magically gain a sweetness. From where I have no idea.

I now know why Peanut Butter & Jelly are such a popular combination. Organic Peanut Butter is very tasty once you know what to expect. It is growing on me.

That is all,

Newt

Anxious

Before I left work today, I got told that a few people I work with were let go this afternoon. I actually work closely with two of the people laid off and was very surprised to hear about it. I have never been fired(I don't count the time I broke the Taco Villa sign) so when I heard about this it really shocked me.

You know that feeling you get when you just barely avoid a car accident or you are sitting in class and the teacher picks the guy next to you to answer a question you didn't know the answer to? That's the feeling I have. I almost feel like it could have been me or something.

It is very strange to have people that you just talked to all of a sudden no longer have a job. Plus, I didn't learn about it until it already happened which made it even more unbelievable. I guess I am lucky, or at least luckier than the people who got canned today.

That is all,

Newt

Oh, Oh, Oh, it’s Magic..

Diana, Erin and I went to see a local radio DJ/Comedian on Saturday at a restaurant called Dave and Busters named Dean Lewis. As part of his stand up he likes to do a couple of magic tricks. One of his tricks was as follows.

He took a clear plastic envelope and filled it with a bunch of cards with names on them. These were all his ex-girlfriends names and the cards were all folded in half. Also in the bag were three sticks of gum and a handful of copper and silver coins.

He began by taking the bag to a table and asking a girl to pull out one of the sticks of gum. She read the gum and it said it was Winterfresh. Her boyfriend then ate the piece to verify it. He then asked her to point to someone else in the audience and she pointed to a friend at her table. He asked the friend to pull another piece of gum out of the bag. She read this piece and ate it. It was Spearmint. He then asked girl #2 to point to another audience member and the girl pointed at ME!!

He came up to me and asked me to take the last piece of gum and then take a coin. I pulled the final stick and a penny. He then asked me to take one of the items and give it to another audience member. I gave the gum away. I was also asked to point to someone to have him or her pull a name out of the bag. This name was going to be ‘used’ though we didn’t know for what.

He continued walking around the back of the room and made three people pull names to verify that there were different names in the bag and he also had two guys pull coins.

Prior to this trick he had a small manila envelope that he had brought with him when he started his set. It had been on the table behind him the entire time he was on stage. He gave it to a girl in the front row at the beginning of the trick. After verifying that the names were random he asked the woman with the envelope onto the stage.

Myself and the two other guys holding coins, along with the guy who pulled the name were all standing. The guy with the name read the card he had drawn: ‘Rhonda’. The comedian then asked what coins the guys had, both were silver, as well as my copper coin. He also asked the guy I gave the gum to too open it and read what it said and then taste it. It was Juicy Fruit.
He pulled the envelope open and began to read. It was as follows:


That is all,

Newt

Phil Noto & Steven Rude

I had an interesting experience today. A couple of weeks ago I got an email saying that Steven Rude, a comic artist and writer who has written some really great stuff over the years, was going to be at Lone Star Comics in Dallas today. It was a signing that was 5-7 so I got online and ordered a few comics to get him to sign.

So, being the uber nerd that I am I took off work today at 4 to give myself enough time to get to the store and get in line early so I wouldn't be there all night. I arrived at 4:30 and no one was there. I asked one of the guys that worked there if the signing was today and he said yes. I was a little surprised that there was no one there but didn't worry to much about it because I was shooting for a sketch from Steven Rude and when there is a line, it is hard to get anything.

Then the clerk told me that they had also added Phil Noto (http://notoart.com) to the list but it was short notice. I was pissed. I didn't bring any of his stuff to get signed and wasn't happy. I did buy a Graphic Novel of his to get signed and thanks to my favorite cousin, Kristy, I got some online help that lead me to a cover of Captain Marvel Vol 5, issue 4.

The artists plane was late so they didn't actually arrive until 5:30 but even then it was only me and one other guy to meet the two of them. When they arrived I got introduced to the both of them and we actually had a small conversation. They sat at a table with some of their works on it and me and this other dude sat on the opposite side. For almost 2 hours I sat across from these two amazing artists and got to know them.

FYI, Steven Rude is a weird man. He is absolutely full of himself and at one point even said "I don't read new comics. I go back and read my old stuff because I know it is good." Phil Noto, however, is a laid back guy that was easy going and I could definitely see hanging out with.

I have never had a conversation with a comic artist and to have two of them all to myself was the ultimate. I got to hear how they got into comics and ended up with a load of stuff signed and two amazing pieces of art(only one was free). This made my day.

That is all,

Newt

The Breakdown

To finish off stories from this weekend I bring to you "The Breakdown."

My truck has been acting funny. On Sunday, Diana and I decided to go to lunch at Whataburger. As we got in the truck, I turned the key and this weird noise was made. It sounded something like a Locust in my ignition. However, the truck started.

It drove fine and we stopped for gas before heading to Whataburger. We went in and ate and lunch was just lovely. Then the trouble started. That noise that came from my truck, well it returned. I tried to start the car and every time I turned the key, a plague of Locust's started buzzing. The problem is it didn't turn over and we were stuck.

I am in no way a mechanic but to make it look like I was knowledgeable, I opened the hood and pretended to try to fix things. This involved periodically popping my head over the hood and telling Diana to turn the key. An older gentleman came up and told me that it sounded like my battery was dead and we played with the cables. He left so I did the only thing I could do. Diana and I walked to Wal-Mart and bought a new battery.

If you ever want to look White Trash, go take a walk with a battery in your arms. We got back to the car after walking three blocks and it was time to install the battery. Another little tidbit about your good buddy Newt, I only have two tools in my car; a flat head screwdriver and a monkey wrench that looks like it would be used to murder someone.

I used the wrench to get the battery cables undone and when I went to remove the battery, it wouldn't budge. At first I thought that the battery had attached itself to the casing, but upon further review it turns out that there is a block that keeps the battery in. The only wrench I had was way to big to get the nut off. We were stuck.

A guy came by and asked if we needed help and he had a toolbox. Yippee!!! Too bad none of his tools were the right size. He had a couple of wrenches that worked but they were too awkward to fit. After everything was said and done we had to walk over to the Target that is across the interstate and buy a set of wrenches.

In the end, we got the car started and I threw my arms up in celebration. The people leaving the parking lot laughed at us.

That is all,

Newt

I now respect Lee Ann Womack

If you read my last post (which of course you did, how could you not?) then you know I was at the Texas State Fair on Saturday. It was the last Saturday of the fair and to close it down they brought in Country Music sensation Lee Ann Womack for a free concert on the Chevy Main Stage.

Diana and I met up with a couple of friends of hers to watch the concert. I would never have paid to see this show, but as it was free I felt my time was not being wasted. I will preface this by saying that the concert was at 8:30 and it started to get both cold and windy right before she went on.

Mrs. Womack came out wearing a loose pink shirt and started singing. I started respecting her when a) I found out she is from Texas and b) she drank beer (I believe it was Shiner) in between songs. I also came to realize as she sang that she has a lot of hits under her belt.

She sang 'I May Hate Myself in the Morning', 'I Hope You Dance', 'A Little Past Little Rock', 'I'll Think of a Reason Later', and '(Now You See Me) Now You Don't'. She also sang a cover of 'You Don't Know Me' that was very good.

The wind picked up half way through the show and I expected her to give up and go in. This brings me to my second reason I now respect Lee Ann Womack. Instead of leaving, she made someone go grab her a sweater and she kept on trucking. She actually ended up singing for over an hour and it was an awesome show. If she came back I might actually throw down some money to watch her again.

This ends the Texas State Fair edition of the Lily Pad,

That is all,

Newt

My Fair Lady

I always say that I hate Fairs. I hate the high prices, the crowds, and the rigged games. Oh, and Carnies. I can't stand Carnies. They don't have teeth. It's like they can't go to the dentist because they are always traveling.

Yet Saturday, after work, Diana and I went to the State Fair of Texas. We searched out Big Tex, rode the Giant Ferris Wheel, and ate. That's right, we ate. I had a Corny Dog, some of Diana's Nachos, a Hot Dog, Funnel Cake, and Tornado Taters. Oh, and a Corn on the Cob. We also rode this tiny roller coaster that was more like something at Joyland.


They had a world famous Playing Card stacker that was building the Dallas Skyline out of cards in a glass room. You could watch him stack the cards and it was amazing. We also went on a tour of the Women's Museum and saw a History of Marilyn Monroe Exhibit. Keep in mind that this was after we had walked in the 5K that morning. My feet were killing me.

And that's not all,

Newt

Everbodys Walking for the Weekend

This was a busy weekend and for the next few posts I will tell you why.

I had to work Saturday. I went in at 5 a.m. and worked until Diana picked me up to got to the Dallas Chapter of the Susan G. Komen Walk for a Cure.

I think I may have stumbled across the best place ever to pick up women…The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer walk. I don't know the exact number but it was estimated that around 25,000 people were at Saturday's Walk and I can tell you that it was not a sausage fest. I would estimate that 90 to 90% of the people there were women.

Diana and I partook in this 5K walk and I am proud to say that I finished it in about an hour. As I was walking I could see how a single dude would clean up at this thing.

First, you have to wear pink. Women love pink...can't get enough of it. There drawn to in like moths to a flame.

Second, by doing this walk you look sensitive. Girls will assume that you a) walk for someone who has/had/died from Breast Cancer (and they love the guy they have to take care of) or b) you are sensitive to women's plight. Either way they dig it Baby!

Seriously though, it was very impressive to look directly in front of me and see a street completely packed with people. It was like a moving sea of heads. Many people had home made shirts for ones they have lost; others, just a piece of paper to say why they were there.

I was thoroughly tired by the end of it, and after breakfast I had to go back to work. Then there was...well I guess you will just have to read the next post.

That is all,

Newt

UPS Bingo

Well, Friday night I experienced something interesting. You know when UPS tries to deliver a package and you aren't home? They leave that little slip that says they attempted delivery and you can call it and tell them to hold the package at their pick-up. Well, we did the Komen Breast Cancer Walk this weekend and the shirts we were supposed to wear were being delivered by UPS. We weren't home when they were attempted delivery so Diana and I had to go to this UPS Delivery Center to get them. This is where the fun starts.

The store is only open from 8 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. When we got there, the line was very long. The doors hadn't opened yet so everyone was waiting. It felt like I was in line for concert tickets. As they opened the doors, I heard a woman yelling, "We will be calling out names and you must verify your address before picking up the package."

We all crammed into the UPS center and this little woman began looking at names on packages and screaming them out. If your name was called, you had to yell "Here" and they put your package in the line to get verified. Keep in mind that this is all done in a half hour.

People kept trickling in as we were standing there. Of course they saw the line for address verification and got into it. When Diana's name got called, she jumped in line and I stood by the door. Every time someone came in I just told them to stand to the side and wait for their name to be called.

This idiot from Best Buy's Geek Squad kept going, "Well this is great" and "What kind of system is this?". I wanted to ask him what his idea would be. Did he really want to be in a line where each person hands their slip over and a UPS person goes looking for the package? I was actually impressed with the inventiveness of the process. It was funny to see people get so excited to hear their name called.

That is all,

Newt

Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D

On Wednesday, I was at the comic book store and they had free passes to go see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D. I actually own this movie but they re-released it in selected theatres starting today and one of the KISS stations was putting on an advance screening.

So, last night Diana and I went. I have never watched a 3-D movie and it was an experience. It was similar to the 3-D rides at Six Flags & Universal Studios. Since the movie wasn't made to be 3-D it wasn't as impressive as some of the rides I have been on, but the definition was cool and there were certain scenes that popped out at you.

The best part is it was free. My eyes were hurting when it was all over and the glasses weren't the best. The frames were skewed. All in all, I wouldn't have been too disappointed if I hadn't seen it but it was still fun.

That is all,

Newt

Entering the Dreamscape

It's that time again. I had a dream last night that I thought I would share...

I walked over to the house next to my Granny's old house. The owner wasn't there and the house wasn't the actual house that is there in reality, but was a mansion. Inside, the man who lived there was dead. (How I knew that, I don't know). I went into his house and it became the next day. Someone came up and told me that he had no heirs and that I had just inherited this man's house.

The next thing I know, a nonprofit charity was setting up a garage sale to get rid of a lot of the junk in the garage. They came in and built shelves in the garage to put things on and began a garage sale for the charity.

Thomas and Jessica came by after the garage sale was finished and we decided to tour the house. Inside was this elaborate library, with bookshelves that went floor to ceiling. Every book imaginable was included on the shelves. They wrapped around the entire room. In the middle of the library were smaller display shelves. One large set of shelves had all pull out sleeves that contained DVDs. In fact, they were all of the DVDs ever made. We walked around finding globes, statues, and collectibles.

Thomas told me that he needed to go to a bookstore to buy some book and we left. We went to the bookstore and they didn't have what he needed. I looked at Thomas and said, "Why don't we just go back to my Library and if I have it, you can just take it."

We decided that it was the best idea. When we got back we discovered a couple sitting in my new kitchen. The woman was crying and looking at a piece of paper. I walked up and asked who they were and the woman said, "This is my father's house and you have stolen all of his things." I looked and she was right. All of the stuff was gone. A door was broken in the library and all of the books, DVDs and statues were missing.

The woman told me, "You owe me $65,000." Then I woke up.

This goes to show you that I will never be rich because someone will always take it away from me.

That is all...and isn't that sad,

Newt

Candy Bar Lines

So here is an interesting question. I was eating a miniature Snickers a few minutes ago and I looked at the bottom (flat side) of the bar and noticed the lines that are on it. To me they look like the squiggly lines that converge in the middle into a multi-line W.

This begs the question: What are those lines for? Are they strategically placed for grip of the bar? Are they there to let air pass under the bar to allow the chocolate to harden? Are they a secret code that, when broken, will reveal what the hell Nougat is?

I DON'T KNOW!!! I haven't got a clue but if it is on a Snickers bar, does that also mean my Milky Way or Three Musketeers might have this affliction? I need answers.

That is all,
Newt