Saturday, July 25, 2009

TBWCYL Day 205 - Eat Shit! I am the MAN now.

I peed in the girls room at work yesterday. It was liberating. Turns out the bathrooms are pretty much identical but I didn't know at the time. The only differences are a nice cosmetics kit and no pee on the toilet seat. It was a nice visit.

I was supposed to defy hierarchy yesterday by going against the grain of the norm. I started by letting my facial hair stay attached to my face. I have a standing ritual of shaving every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to keep the level of desheveledness to a minimum. But I said "F-You" to "The Man" and went all Grizzly Adams up on that bitch.

Along with wearing my face decorations proudly and tinkling in the ladies room, I also spent about 73.2% of my day goofing off on the Internet. Sure, I threw some work in in between blogs, news stories and info on San Diego Comicon but it was few and far between. Then I left early to go on a "work errand" and got off early.

I also had a make or break decision and I think I made the right choice. We drove home for my wife's birthday which consists of a 6 hour drive through desert lands speckled occationally with little shanties. We stopped at one of our favorite Mexican fast food restaurants and I mistakenly let my wife go in and order while I parked.

Upon entering, I checked her receipt and realized that my 3 beef fajita burritos were rung up as ground beef. THIS WOULD NOT STAND!!! I walked up to the counter, delivered a roundhouse scissor kick to the guy at the register, poked both of his eyes out and ripped off his ears because, and I quote, "Clearly they must not work so you don't need them anymore." I then shook off the daydream I was having and proceeded to make the manager correct the error of the bumbling cashier and got my f-ing burritos. My wife wanted me to just eat the ground beef. Not today baby!

So, hierarchy can suck my wiener. I totally owned it like a prison bitch.

That is all,

Newt

3 Ripples in the pond:

Girl Interrupted said...

I was going to say it was a case of rebel without applause ... but to be honest, I applaud anybody who "tinkles" in the ladies room and daydreams about ripping the ears off fast-food workers.

Nice work, you did THE BOOK proud

Trinity said...

Thanks. I just wanted to see how the other half lived. I almost peed on the seat to really live dangerously but I didn't want that kind of guilt later

Erin said...

I'm craving Rosa's and am also concerned about you taking a trip to the ladies room. I'm hoping no one in my office is working their way through the way through the book, which could perhaps lead to an awkward bathroom encounter.